OUR LITTLE CRICKET

School Days are here again

2011-08-11T14:01:00.001-07:00

School starts up again in 11 days, and Holly is very excited. She has met her teacher Mrs Grover, and was fitted for a new school shirt. Clothes shopping for Holly and Myleigh was very interesting, as Myleigh picked many fashionable and stylish girly outfits, and Holly chose lots of t-shirts with characters and sayings. She actually picked, to my total surprise, some shirts with sparkles on them. Her love of Pandas prevailed and she chose a panda t-shirt she is in love with. Orange being her favorite color now, she wanted shirts that were orange, but, I insisted she break it up a bit. She also chose a pink, of all colors, Hello Kitty backpack. I thought for sure it would end up being something with race cars, or some such thing on it, but, no she went bonkers as soon as she saw it. In the end, she was happy with her purchases and so was mama.

Shoe shopping was just this week, and Holly chose a rockin pair of pink, yes she is into pink now, light up tennis shoes. To go with her girly shoes and girly backpack, she chose a pack of race car socks, so, my girl hasn't changed too much, thank goodness. I was feeling like we were kindred spirits with all the race car, trucks, rescue heroes, rough and tumble stuff she was into just as I was when I at that age. You can imagine my chagrine when the girly, pinky, sparkly stuff started to be a theme on our shopping trip. I guess at some point she may make the full changeover to girly things, but, I'm kind of hoping she doesn't lose too much of that tomboyness.

Her first post placement visit was this week, too. It was over a year late, we were lost in the shuffle some how with both our homestudy agency and our placing agency, and I had put it off, procrastinated, and just plain forgot most of the time. Things have gone so well with her adjustment that I didn't think too much about reporting back, to be honest. We did send a package of pictures and updates to the SWI back in February, but, we really needed to get this post placement report done for the sake of the agencies.

Holly was her usualy self with the social worker, just jabbering away, and enjoying the attention. He asked lots of questions and she did amazingly well not only understanding but giving clear answers. He was satisfied that she is healthy, happy, and well cared for. Next report not for another year, so, hopefully we won't get lost again.

The next big thing after the new school year starting is Halloween, at least that is what is on Holly's radar, and she is already trying to decide what she's going to be. So far she is thinking about Ironman. We'll see.

School is out for the summer!

2011-06-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

Holly has graduated kindergarten, and is moving onto 1st grade. Her school has a new program that suits her perfectly. She has been placed in a classroom with no more than 15 students, and several teachers focusing on helping these students catch up to the rest of the 1st grade students, while staying with the same cirricullum used in the standard 1st grade, and participating in all the events and activities with the rest of the school. They will be just like the other 1st grade classes except smaller and more focused. I think she's going to love it.

Now that big sister Myleigh has outgrown the small two wheel bike, it has been passed onto Holly, who was so excited to get a big girl bike with training wheels. She's still working on mastering the brakes, but, is getting better each day.

We have found a young man in our neighborhood that spent a two year mission in Hong Kong, we're having him come over and see how much Chinese Holly can still remember. Her dialect was so different, but, perhaps there is some basic language she will have retained. We'll see.

A new year.

2011-03-02T04:52:00.001-08:00

2011 is upon us, and the New Year brought with it many challenges for our family. Most were personal, and very private and we will be navigating them through the rest of this year. Holly has grown so much, she is such a tall girl for 6 years old. She's struggling a bit in kindergarten, and we may be looking at having her repeat this grade, or perhaps moving her onto first grade and see if it would be better to just have her repeat that grade instead.

She digs her heels in when she is afraid of making a mistake, and simply does nothing. Her teacher has learned how to handle this, but, the progress with reading and writing is slow. I see little steps forward, and she gets very excited when she masters a new skill.

I've been neglecting this blog for the past few months, but, really will try to get some pictures posted soon.

Holidays

2010-11-26T18:18:00.000-08:00

Halloween is behind us, Thanksgiving was just yesterday, and Christmas is on its way. Holly is the most excited kid on the planet this season, she really understands what each holiday brings, and is relishing each detail in ways that have made them brand new for all of us.

Halloween. The lead up was interesting, trying to give her an idea of why everyone will be dressed up, and preparing her for the scary and sometimes gruesome way people celebrate. We did the best we could without exposing her to the gruesome stuff. Choosing a costume was easy, she just wanted to be spongebob and that was it. She would see other costumes, usually super heroes, and would get all excited at the idea of dressing up like that, but, as soon as she saw her spongebob costume, it was love. On Halloween night she wasn't too sure about going up to strangers houses and knocking on the door, but, when Myleigh led the way, she was fine. After that first door, she was running from house to house. At one point she said "I so esited, I love Halloween." After a few houses, she decided she wanted to take a turn ringing the doorbell, so from then on they traded off on each house. After about two hours, she was tuckered out and wanted to go home, so, we made a round about path back to our house, as Myleigh wanted to hit some more houses before being done. Holly was content with what she had, and just walked along with us. Then, at home, the two dumped out their bags and the trading and gorging started. Holly even took a turn handing out candy to trick or treaters. She loved every minute of it.

Thanksgiving- The morning came with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV. I missed it as I was sleeping after working til 7am, but, the girls tell me that she was most excited when she saw Santa at the end of the parade. She been telling us that she loves Santa and wants to hug him when we go to see him. That should be interesting. Then it was dinner time. If there's one thing Holly is very clear about, it's what she likes to eat and what she does not. The big hit for the day, egg nog, or as Holly says it, neg nog. She does not like cranberry sauce, or gravy.

Christmas, well , that's all month long, really. We set up and lit our outside decorations on Thanksgiving, as per our tradition, and she really liked that, but, her favorite part, so far, was decorating the tree this afternoon. Her only disappointment was when we ran out of things to put on the tree.

Next week is her 6th birthday, but, for us, it's her first birthday since we brought her home, so, it's a much bigger deal than just turning 6. She will also be blessed that day and her name officially written on the records of the church as Holly Jun Nicole Anderson. Her birthday present is a new razor scooter. We have been having her use Myleigh's old scooter, that has big chunky wheels and is harder to really get going because the hill on the way home from school is long and a little bit steep, so, it would have been harder for her to learn to manage controlling it if it rolled easily. Now that she has really mastered it, she should be fine handling the razor kind.

School Days

2010-09-21T00:37:00.000-07:00

Holly started kindergarten on August 31st. It was so hard for her to wait a whole week after everyone else had started school, as the district here in our area has kindergarten start a week after all the other grades. I don't understand it, Im sure they have a reason that I won't agree with. Once it was her day to go to school, she was so excited. I was anticipating a melt down once we got to the room and the reality of mommy leaving her there with strangers set in, but, no. She took to school like a duck to water.

I had prepared her with the same kind of "the whole story" that I had done for church. I drew a map of her school, with all the rooms, including the classroom where Myleigh would be. We went through the day from how Mommy and Holly will first take Myleigh to school, we will wave goodbye and come back home. Holly will play and watch her shows, and then have lunch and get ready for school. Then how we will go to the kindergarten parking lot, mommy will park the car, mommy and Holly will go in the entrance and then to Mrs Peterson's classroom. Mommy and Holly will say goodbye, give hug and kiss, and then mommy will drive home and Holly will stay with Mrs Peterson and the other kids in her class. We talked about some of the kinds of things she will do in class, and then how the bell will ring when it's time to go home, Mrs Peterson will take all the children outside to wait. Then Myleigh will come and pick her up and together they will ride their scooters home.

So, that's pretty much how it unfolded for her. the only difference was that I brought her to class about ten minutes early, and she had some one on one time with Mrs Peterson, so she could walk her through the things Holly is to do when she comes into class, and just to acclimate her to the room a bit more before it was full of noisy kids demanding Mrs Petersons attention. I said good bye, she hugged me very tightly, said I love you mom, and we gave each other kisses on the cheek. When I left, I snapped a picture of the two of them looking at the first little story book the children will be learning from, and off I went.

That afternoon I waited very anxiously on the front step watching for the girls to appear, hoping that the day had gone well. It seemed forever watching all the children filing past our house, and then I spied them. Holly was on her scooter, way out in front of Myleigh, and scooting as fast as she could. When she got close enough to see me, she shouted out "Mommy!!" I went out into the yard, and she ran up to me, threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. I asked if she had fun at school and she said yes. After a few minutes of excited chatting about the things she did, I knew we had conquered another milestone.

Now, several weeks later, she still likes school, and has learned how to write and recognize three letters, including the letter H, which she proudly will tell you is the first letter in her name.

Pictures to follow.

Smores

2010-08-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

Holly has discovered that roasting marshmallows is great, but, putting them on crackers with chocolate, Sheer Genius!!

Getting ready for the big day

2010-08-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

the first day of school is just around the corner, and Holly is so excited. Im not sure how much of the whole school experience she really grasps, but, the fact that she gets to pick out her school supplies is very much a concept she understands.

She has made it clear that a Spongbob back pack is required, as are Spongebob shoes.

Her language aquisition is nothing short of amazing. Nothing gets past this kid, especially when it comes to going anywhere with Mommy. She loves to go shopping, and has, for the most part, opted out of riding in the seat of the shopping cart. She also knows that a treat is possible at the end of the trip, as long as she behaves herself and asks nicely.

The meltdowns are gone, and she has become a very affectionate child. She likes to give hugs and tell us she loves us, which just melts my heart. She does have one funny quirk, well, not funny if you're on the receiving end. She seems to have a limit to the number of people that can, on any given day, be part of her circle of trust. It's usually one of the older girls, she will act like she doesn't like them anymore. It can really hurt their feelings, and I tolerated it for a while thinking she was just having to get used to so many people in her formerly very small circle. Then she decided that Katie's friend Chad was in and Katie was out. Well, that was that. I stood her in front of Katie, and explained that she should not say mean things to her, she is her sister, and she loves her. I told her that when she says mean things it hurts Katie's feelings, and she needs to say she's sorry. It took just a few minutes to get the idea across, but, she soon apologized to Katie and we haven't had it happen since, but, only time will tell.

Holly has a tendency to be a tom boy and avoids all things girly, much to my chagrine. We took Myleigh to pick out her Baptism dress, and Holly was with us. While Myleigh played dress up, trying on dress after dress, Holly was bored and not too happy to be surrounded by lace and ruffles. I tried to convince her to choose a dress for herself, and she just snarled at me. I would pick up a dress and say, what about this, and she would just snarl or say "Can't want it" Which means in Holly speak "I don't want it".

Myleigh chose her dress, finally, and we were getting ready to pay for it, when Holly figured out that she wasn't getting anything. In her panic, she agreed to find a dress, and she made a beeline for a school girl uniform style red plaid dress. It was definitely her.

Next spring I plan to sign both girls up for soft ball. Holly will be an absolutely perfect fit for it, and Myleigh has wanted to play softball for a couple of years now. When I mentioned it to Holly she seemed to understand what I was talking about, so, Im wondering if she was exposed to it in China. I guess we'll see. I taught my older kids how to play, so, Ill be working on that with Holly and Myleigh.

Myleigh's birthday

2010-07-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

Just goofing around in front of our decorated door waiting for Myleigh's birthday guests to arrive.

Scottish Festival 2010

2010-07-14T08:49:00.000-07:00

These are pictures we took at the Scottish Festival. We took both girls to the vendors booths to find something fun. Myleigh immediately picked out a parasol, and we showed them to Holly to see if she wanted one. She grimaced and shook her head no. Knowing that this girl is like me, not a girly girl at all, I asked her if she wanted a sword, and she lit up and said Yes very quickly and clearly. She picked out the biggest one she could find. As you can see in the picture, she is very proud of her sword.

some new pictures

2010-07-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

Holly really likes Birthday cake, and has been telling us about the birthday she had in China and how her friends shared her cake. She is just starting to understand that we sent her that cake and the panda.

It's July!!

2010-07-14T07:36:00.001-07:00

Wow, time has flown by. Life has returned to what we now know as normal. Holly is talking a blue streak, all day long, and has officially entered the WHY stage. Every question is followed up with WHY. It can be exhausting, but, to me, the fact that this gives me a chance to explain things in even more detail to her is a bonus. It means she is still listening. There is a point where I just can't answer any more, and have to distract her onto something else, but, its a really good sign .

The only time she speaks Chinese is the occasional word or two here and there. It's sad to know she has lost much of her native language, and we did all we could to slow that process down, but, we knew her brain would have to make the switch at some point just for survival while she absorbs a completely new language.

Sundays have been a struggle. Holly did not like going to Primary, as it meant seperating from one of her grown ups, and being in a class with children she really doesnt know, except for her best buddy Savannah. She would do whatever it took to get out of it. Usually resorting to crying and asking to go home. I advised everyone to keep going with her, sitting with her, and just being a silent support system, but, to not give in to her insisting on leaving. For the most part she would resist just for a few minutes, and then natural curiosity of what was going on took over and she would be fine until something changed, like when it was time to go from group sharing time to her individual class. Then she would start in again until they were settled in the classroom. This went on, up and down, for months, and then, a couple of weeks ago she decided she was going to push Mindy's buttons, knowing both Mommy and Daddy were at work. She had a full on melt down, and it was just too disruptive to the rest of the class to keep her in the room. Mindy brought her outside and called me at work. I told her to just sit outside with her, do not take her home, and just wait til it was time for the rest of the kids to get out of class. As expected, as soon as class time was over, Holly reverted back to being happy as a clam.

So, when I got home I had Myleigh collect some crayons and paper and I sat them both down and had them watch as I drew a diagram of the church. I drew all of the rooms, and labeled them. We talked a bit about those rooms to make sure Holly understood that this was our church. Then I used different crayons to indicate each of us, and one for our car. I showed us driving our car to church, and parking in our usual spot. I made sure Holly was following along. I could tell she was not liking the part where we go to church, but, that was the focus of this exercise. To deal with what it was about going to church she didnt like. I had surmised that due to her stress level rising predictably whenever she didnt know for certain what was going on, it was the unknown that was making her afraid. Her abandonement issues were welling up inside her, and activating her fight or flight response. Since she couldnt fight it, she was trying to escape going all together.

As I showed us walking together into church, and going into the chapel, as we always do first, she was only ok with it, but, was watching with interest. I talked about all the things that happen in the chapel, and she went along. Then I said it was time to go to Primary. She glanced up at me with reservation but didn't really protest yet. I said, Holly and Myleigh hold hands and walk nicely to sharing time. I showed them and traced their path, and then traced Myleigh going to her seat in sharing time, and Holly going to hers, and talked about how Savannah was there, and her teacher, and all the other kids in Holly's class. Then we talked about all the things that happen in sharing time. I showed her how Mommy, and Daddy go to their class. She was very interested in that, and I did it twice to really make it sink in, and so she could see on the diagram exactly where we are in relation to where she is.

And then, it was time to go to class. This was when I could see her stiffen up and start to get nervous. I told her how Myleigh goes to her class with her teacher, and traced Myleigh's path. Then I said Holly goes to her class with her teacher and with Savannah and then traced their path. I showed her how the chairs are arranged in the classroom, and asked if that was right. She agreed, and I asked where she would sit. She pointed and I drew her there. Suddenly she was liking this game and really started to play along. We talked about what happens in her class, and then I showed her that Mommy and Daddy go to a different class now, and traced us on our paths. She followed intently.

Then it was time to go home. I showed how Holly waits in her class with her teacher until Mommy or Daddy or Mindy or Myleigh come to get her. Then I showed Myleigh coming from her class all the way around the hallway and how we all meet together, get our jackets, and go to our car, and drive home. The story was complete and she could see every step and knew where everyone was, that we didnt leave her alone in the building, and that we all get together again and go home together. She sighed very deeply and smiled. Then, we told the story all over again, but, this time, she told much of it. I would ask her now and then, Where is Mommy, or Where is Daddy's class. She could point them out quickly. I would ask her where Holly's class is, and again, she pointed it out quickly.

I figured, since I was more worried about how she would respond to going to kindergarten next month than how we would deal with church, that it was time to add another drawing, so I drew the school. Then I went through much the same process to show her what school days are like. She really liked this, and because of the church game, she understood how to play so she jumped right in. Then, after telling the school game a couple of times, I told her that on school days we don't go to church, and on church days we don't go to school.

So, over the coming week, I kept the drawings on my dresser and she would come into my room and we would talk about the games. On the very next Sunday, Tim had the drawing with him, and she didn't even need it. She went happily to primary with Myleigh, and then to her class, and ended the day happily,. When I came home from work she was anxious to tell me she went to primary and didn't cry at all. She high fived me, and we hugged. I could see she was so proud that she had mastered such a huge hurdle.

I feel a lot less nervous about how we will get through the first few days of kindergarten now.

2010-05-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

A few random pictures of Holly's new life. The first picture is Holly sharing a nap with big sister Katie. The second is Holly showing off the marshmallow mess all over her hands and face following the last picture of Myleigh and Holly roasting marshmallows.

Finally everyone is Woh Dee

2010-05-17T13:18:00.001-07:00

Today Mindy got what she's been longing for, and has seen everyone else in the family achieve before her. Holly finally said, Mindy woh dee, which means, Mindy is mine.

Day after day Mindy has worked at developing a bond with Holly, and while Holly loved her, and was affectionate with her, she never said the magic words that everyone else had gotten weeks ago. Im just so glad I was sitting here when it happened. Mindy was so happy, and Holly clearly understood that she had given Mindy something special.

Life is plugging along and after all my worries that our life might never be the same again, I have found that not only was I right, but, that the change is wonderful and right in so many ways. Holly is a perfect fit in our family. She seems to be happy, and I gauge that by her sleep patterns, her appetite, the way she has relaxed and found her own space. She has had no meltdowns in weeks, and the longing looks are few and far between. She is comfortable enough to be able to communicate what is hers, and where the boundaries are as to what she will share and what she will not. She's not at all concerned to not talk about Nia Mah and Sun Mah, who she obviously was very close to. I haven't been able to actually have a conversation with her about her life in China, but, from what she has been able to communicate, I think the orphanage director and Nia mah were married, and Holly was their foster child during that time that she was in a foster home. Holly was trying to tell me something about her necklace that she always wears, and Nia Mah's name came up so I asked, did Nia Mah give this to Jun Jun, and she adamantly said yes with a look of relief as if she was wishing all along to be able to tell me that Nia Mah was very special to her.

The affection evident between the orphanage director and Holly on gotcha day, and the pictures of Holly and Nia Mah even when she was a tiny baby, during the time she would have been in foster care, leads me to believe they were her foster parents, but, until she and I can really chat about it, I won't know for sure.

Mommy Wohdee

2010-05-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

That's what I hear all day long. Mommy Wohdee. It means, Mommy is mine. Holly likes to claim me, which just warms my heart, especially when you consider the way she treated me just a few short months ago. I was persona non grata as far as she was concerned, and I have to admit to being afraid that we would never find our way to a real mommy/child relationship.

So much has changed since we came home from China. Holly is speaking nearly all English, just a few Chinese words and phrases here and there. Her favorite thing to say these days is that one or another of the kids is "skinky". She heard me tell Matthew that his room is stinky, and from that moment on she just loves to say it.

Every night, at bedtime, Holly has settled into a routine. We send the girls up to get pj's on, and then they come down for family prayer. We barely get Amen out, and she is up off her knees and leaping into one of our arms for hugs goodnight, and I do mean leaping. You have to be ready for it, or she may clock you with her head. Then she runs for the stairs announcing that "Holly go potty" in a frantic tone. She used to say Holly oleo, but, now she just says potty. Then, its story time, usually by Mindy or Katie, and then hugs goodnight. She loves to just wrap her whole self around you. She always whispers, I love you Mommy, and then gives me a kiss on my cheek. We used to turn on a big fan for both the girls, but, Holly still gets cold quite easily, so, I decided to go with personal size fans. I picked up two clip on little ones, because I knew if I got one for Myleigh, who is a little chili pepper and always too warm at night to go without one, I knew Holly would feel left out if I didnt get one for her as well. To my surprise, she not only was happy I got her one, but, she actually has it on at night. Perhaps its just the right amount of air movement.

She has decided that her name is officially Holly, using Jun Jun only every now and then. She seems to refer to Jun Jun more in the third person, and usually when she talks about China. Its like she sees herself as a new person with a new life, and Jun Jun is in her old life. She loves to remind us that Holly and Myleigh are Chinese, and Katie, being the tease that she is, just loves to get a rise out of her by saying that Katie is chinese too. Works every time.

I am always surprised at what Holly will do and what she won't. Yesterday I took her to Myleighs 2nd grade class Mother's day program. After the program we wandered around the classroom, and I discovered that they had four little just hatched chicks in a box on the floor. I tried to show them to Holly, but, she wouldnt go near them. She was so afraid, I didn't dare push it, but, I really thought she would think they were cute. Nope.

Then, today, we went to Mindy's ballroom concert, and as part of the show several of the boys, including Mindy's partner David, dressed up in costumes. There was spiderman, batman, zorro, darth vader , and David as the Mask. At the end of the show the kids in the audience were invited to come up to have their picture taken with the characters, and Mindy took the girls up. To my surprise, she wasn't afraid of them at all. In fact, David, even though he was in full costume and didn't look much like David, came straight over to Holly and Myleigh, picked them both up and turned them both sideways to pose for the camera. Holly smiled and laughed. So, I figured she just knew it was David and since she adores him she was ok with him being in a costume. Then, she went up and had pictures taken with some of the others. She wasn't a bit afraid. So, if you're a masked superhero or villian she will pose with you for pictures. If you're a soft, fluffy tiny baby chick, ...back off.

I love you mommy!

2010-04-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

She finally said it.

I was bent over hugging her, and she was hugging me. I had just gotten home from work, so she missed me. It wasn't loud, more of a whisper, right into my ear. "I love you mommy"

That was not just the first time she ever said it to me, but, the first time she ever said I love you to any of us. We knew she did, just by the way she is around us. It's just that actually saying it, without any prompting, or without anyone else saying it to her first, just means so much more and speaks volumes about how far she has come in just two months.

How can anyone know how a five year old will react to being taken from the only home and the only family she has ever known, and thrust into the arms and lives of complete strangers? I've said it before and I stand by it, adoption, especially international adoption, is legalized kidnapping. Up until the child reaches an age where they really can make the decision with an understanding of what that means, it really is a traumatic event no matter how well prepared they are. If I were to put an age on when they really "get it", I would have to say eight years old, because that is an age where explainations can be given, and discussion can be had where never and forever start to really mean something. When they know they may never come back and may never see their friends and nannies again they can more clearly know how dramatic their life is going to change and that making this decision will separate them completely. When they know that they will be with this new family forever, they can start to relax and work through the changes, knowing that this was their choice and that they get to keep these new members of their family. If the decision is not left up to them, at least they can prepare themselves to some degree for the upheaval, and can communicate with the guides and some of the other Chinese speaking people they will be in contact with during the adoption trip. Not that being old enough to understand what is happening makes it easy, by far not, there is nothing easy about walking away from your home, your safety zone into an unknown world. It is, however, easier to express how you are feeling, and to know when you are being understood.
It's easier for the nannies to prepare you. Whether they do or not is anyone's guess, and that doesn't take into account any handicaps that affect a child's ability to understand.

For Holly, the trauma and the inability to grasp the concept of adoption due to being five years old made it impossible for her to trust any of our guides enough to talk with them. She would listen to what they said, but, would not respond. Her nannies did a great job at trying to prepare her, and teaching her what was going to happen when we came for her, but, five year olds can only grasp concepts they are familiar with, and forever and never are not concepts they usually have to deal with. How much of the Chinese spoken by our guides that she really understood is still a mystery, as her dialect was so different. She must understand some of it though, as she still enjoys Chinese speaking DVD's, and the words and phrases she has taught us we can pick out of these DVD's, so she does at least understand some common Chinese.

We have learned so much about her personality, and what her emotional boundaries are. We can now see on her face and in her body language what she's feeling on a basic level. Still, it's hard for her and for us that we can't just ask her a question and answer the questions she has. Conversation is still slow going, broken and combined with a certain amount of Chinese. We usually get the gist of it, but, there are so many times that she gets a look on her face and you just know she is feeling something she doesnt know how to express, or she is remembering something she can't tell us about.

I would love to be able to tell her that we can still communicate with Nia Mah, and send her pictures and drawings, and even presents. She wouldn't understand. We will be sending a small box, with a picture of Nia Mah and instructions in Chinese, and I will be doing what I can to have her draw a picture for Nia Mah and tell her we are sending it to her all the way in China. Will she know what I mean, that's anyones guess. Judging by the way she talks about her, Nia Mah must have been very special to Holly, so it's important to me that some communication continue. At some point it will be Holly writing to her and me having it translated into Chinese, and vice versa so they can talk to each other as Holly grows up.

Still, for now, she has no idea if she will ever be able to see Nia Mah again, and I know it must hurt. Getting that I love you was clearly not the first time Holly hugged someone and told them that. It was so softly spoken that I'm sure it was a monumental moment for a little girl so far from the first mommy she said I love you to.

Homesick

2010-04-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

Our Holly Jun is dealing with some homesickness.

This week followed a long spring break where Myleigh was home for Holly to play with all day every day for a week. With school back in session, Holly has had time all day to think about what her days used to be like, filled with preschool with her friends being taught by her nannies. As she is not ready emotionally to go to a preschool here, and doesnt have the language skills to be able to socialize much with other children away from home, she is probably feeling the loss.

We try to keep her busy, and engaged, but, there is only just so much we can do.

So, I pulled out her memory book that the orphanage gave us. It's filled with pages that she colored over the years, and progress reports written in Chinese, and pictures of Holly with her nannies and her friends. There are pictures of her from the day she was found until just this fall. This was a great idea as Holly became so animated, and started telling me all about some of the newer pictures, as she would have remembered the day they were taken. Some of the older ones just made her say Eww. They were of her as a baby, and she doesn't believe me when I say it's her. She just says ew.

There is a very nice picture of Holly with her nanny Nia Mah, bending down looking at flowers. She really likes that picture, and I think from her reaction to any picture with Nia Mah in them that she must have been very attached to her.

Early in the week we had gotten a package from Half The Sky, the organization that ran the preschool program at Holly's orphanage, and in it was that same picture. I put it up on our refridgerator, and she just loves looking at it. On Monday I was cleaning out the fridge and she was going on and on, telling me some very animated tales that included Nia Mah, Sun Mah, and Jun Jun (Holly). I have no idea what the story was about, but, she was so into it, I just pretended to understand and to be so excited right along with her. Then it was time to spring clean her room, which meant putting winter clothes in the underbed dresser and taking out the summer clothes.

When I pulled the matching snow pants and jacket I had gotten her, see earlier story, out of the closet, she became very excited, and insisted on putting the jacket on. I didn't think too much of it at the time, and even when she refused to take it off to put it with the snow pants I didn't really pay attention. I'm used to kids wearing odd things in all kinds of weather just because they feel like it at the time, ie swimsuits in winter etc.

The next day, just as soon as she was dressed, she put that jacket back on, wore it all day until it was time for pajamas. I decided that it was a comforting reminder of how she was dressed in the orphanage. By the third day the weather was far too warm for that jacket, and I tried to talk her into taking it off, but, no go. She stayed tight in it, zipped all the way up.

Then I noticed it. In the picture of Holly and Nia Mah looking at the flowers, Holly is wearing a jacket nearly identical to the one she was now so attached to. It made perfect sense. It was like having Nia Mah there with her in some small way. I walked her over to the picture and pointed out the jacket in the picture and she, in her half hand gestures half chinese words way, confirmed that she thought the jacket was the same. I let her know that she could wear it as much as she wanted to, and by yesterday the jacket was off, hanging on a hook in her room.

Progress....

2010-04-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

Holly has made a lot of progress in so many areas.

She has learned so many words and phrases, that communication has become so much easier. There are still times when she isn't able to tell us what she wants to, but, for the most part, even when she can't we figure it out.

She is quickly becoming an American girl. She likes Sponge Bob (she calls him bunga bop), and Cheezits, and mac n cheese, spaghetti, pizza, chicken nuggets and french fries. There is still a healthy dose of Chinese in her, thank goodness. She still loves noodles in any form, but especially in soups. Pot stickers, rice, spring rolls.

It seems this girl has a latin side to her. She just loves latin music. Yesterday, we were at Matt and Mindy's dance coach's studio, and latin music was played now and then during lessons. We happened to notice that everytime the latin music was on, Holly would dance and shake her head to the music. So cute. She really likes it.

Easter's coming

2010-03-31T15:02:00.000-07:00

Sunday is Easter, and Holly is so far not terribly confused by the baskets with fake grass, and the bunnies all over the house. I think she flows with whatever happens around here pretty well. I would be very interested in what she thinks of the actual events of the weekend, right down to taking perfectly good boiled eggs, dipping them in dye and making them different colors, and then just leaving them until the next morning, when she wakes up, and they are all gone. No wait. They're not gone. They're outside,... in the grass... under buckets... in bushes... all over the place. Then, what happens next is even stranger. We run around the yard finding the eggs, putting them in our baskets, but we aren't concerned about the fact that they were outside getting dirty. We are thrilled to find each and every one, not at all angry or upset. Happily we take them back into the house where we... wait for it.. ..we eat them.

We crazy Americans. What will we think of next. Uhm, when should I tell her about Halloween?

Life around here has taken a new normal path. Now that both Tim and I are back at work, Holly has had to get used to our comings and goings, and she has done pretty well, since the girls brought her to see me in dispatch. Once I had gotten home, she was fine again. It was as if she had processed that I don't just disappear, and I really am at an identifiable place. I always come home from that place. It's called Work, and Daddy goes to a place called Work, too. He always comes home, too. Now that she understands, she's fine with it.

Her language acquisition is really picking up. She says most things in English now, or at least combines English and Chinese in the same sentence, using Chinese when she doesn't know how to say it in English. She still grieves now and then, not for very long, but, it still happens. I'm guessing that when she comes out of her grieving, as long as we are very normal with her, and not pitying or overly concerned, she is better able to get back to feeling content. It just wouldn't do her any good, since we don't really have the ability to get inside her head and know exactly what she is mourning or who. We just let her know that she is safe with us, and we love her and we know she is sad and that's ok. She has the right to feel sad.

I'm back on the naughty list .

2010-03-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Holly has not been very happy about my going back to work. It's bad enough that I can't really explain to her about where I'm going or for how long, but, it's worse that I have to leave home at 6am and she doesn't wake up until after 7, so she doesn't even know I have left. I'm just not there when she wakes up and I don't get home until after 7pm. I've had to do this for three days now, and have one more full day to go. From the very first day she has been standoffish, and not very interested when I come home. It takes me just picking her up and hugging her to get any contact with her at all. Each day she is more detached, and today, after asking for someone to bring her to work to see me everyday, finally, the girls brought her. She wanted nothing to do with me, wouldn't even come near me, and held on to Katie with a death grip.

So, Im back in the dog house, Mindy and I will just have to keep each other company.

I'm sure she will eventually get used to me being gone for work. In a few weeks my schedule changes, and I'll leave for work in the evening and be home but sleeping for most of the day. It will be weekends, so, I'll have the weekdays home with her. I don't know if that will patch things up,but, I have to work, so, I have no choice but to be patient while she sorts it all out, and her language improves to the point where I can explain it to her and she'll get it.

Back to work..... sigh

2010-03-26T15:34:00.000-07:00

Today is my first full day back to work, yesterday I worked my four hour short shift, and now I'm just about done with my first of four 12 hour shifts this weekend. Holly has had several melt downs today, but, Katie and Mindy navigated them, using my tactics of just being there and letting her work through it without getting angry or upset with her. We just let her vent for a while, and then, when she is ready, love her right back to being happy again.

Myleigh is having some issues with having Holly always up in her business. She's needing some space and probably some Mom and Me time. It's gonna be a few days before I can do anything about that, but, maybe Daddy will do. Tonight is the Timpview High School Ballroom Company's Luau, so, we'll all go have a night of fun and then back to the grind tomorrow.

Last night Mindy had her first pageant contestant meeting for Miss Salem 2010. Being the second attendant from 2009 makes the process less stressful, and we feel so much more prepared than last time. We have all the clothes, and makeup, and jewelry, and shoes, and the talent portion is coming together nicely. Music's cut, costume is ready, and choreography is almost complete. She competes on May 29th, so, we have time to polish everything up. Oh I hope she gets the crown this time, because we could really use the scholarship money.

Spring is coming next week, as the hottest day of the year is set for Monday, and I am so excited to get outside and start planting seeds and bulbs, and just get some sun and exercise. Maybe I'll start taking walks with Holly to bring Myleigh home, so she gets used to the routine for the fall. Can't wait to throw open all the windows, and maybe even get them washed.

Two more days and it's back to work for me

2010-03-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

I just have today and tomorrow, and then I start back at work for a 5 day stint. The first day is just a four hour morning shift, but, then I have four 12 hour days in a row through the weekend. I'm not looking forward to it, but, since we were hit with such a huge tax bill this year, we need the money and I'll be doing this alot.

We can't claim the adoption tax credit this year since the adoption wasn't final until after the first of the year, so, we have to soak up the bills until next tax season. It'll be tough, and sacrafices will have to be made, but, we'll handle it.

Tim has been back to work since a week after we got back from China. During that time Holly has adjusted to her new life pretty well, and has taken to speaking more English than Chinese. If I were to really count, I think she knows over 100 words in English, and is now substituting those words for the Chinese even in sentences that are nearly all Chinese. Yesterday we were looking at the photo album the orphanage gave us, and there is a picture of the head nannie, who she calls Woh Jee Mama, putting Holly's shoes on her. She spouted something off in Chinese, and when she got to the word for shoes, she said "shoes" instead of Hiyah. Steady progress.

Today we registered Holly for kindergarten, and found out she needs another shot, one that is required by Utah but not by the US dept of health, and if I can't find her TB certificate, she will need that redone as well. I believe the test results are included in the consulate paperwork, and we didn't get any of that back, and won't, so, she may just have to have it done again. We have all summer to do it, so, I'm not rushing it until she speaks enough English where I can explain it to her.

She is making peace with her sister Mindy. It took having Mindy be the only one of us that reads bedtime stories to the girls. This made her special, and gave her a chance to show off what makes Mindy fun. Her acting skills and ability to create voices and make stories come alive.

Her likes have grown since we got home
Spongebob
Ni Hao Kai Lan
The Wiggles
Teletubbies
and interestingly enough, Dancing With The Stars

She still loves bananas, and any kind of noodles, but has added Cheezits, Crystal Light, ginger snaps, meat of all kinds, fish of all kinds, french fries, chicken nuggets, chocolate milk, and grapes. She is learning to like oranges, apples, other kinds of potatoes, salad dressings other than catalina, and more than just the toppings on pizza.

Holly has also made peace with the dogs, and has no fear or concern about them at all anymore. She especially likes to make them come in and go out on command.

Myleigh spends a lot of time playing teacher to Holly, teaching her numbers and letters, and how to write her name. As her language skills improve, we can work more on those things, but, Myleigh is doing an amazing job just playing school.

She has a fixation on dressing just like Myleigh, and will look for matching shirts when they get dressed in the morning. Still, she knows what side of the closet is hers, and which dresses are hers, and enjoys pointing out what is "Jun Jun's". There have been a few tears over what Holly wants to be hers that is truly Myleigh's, especially when Myleigh has had a long day already and just doesn't want to deal with the argument. Mom usually has to intercede and take on Holly's strong willed nature and put her in her place. I'm so glad she was taught discipline, as she responds very positively when I tell her no, or explain to her that she needs to stop something. Once in a while she gets upset, but, normally she is fine with it.

The first party!

2010-03-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

I work with the best people on the planet, I just want to say that first thing, because I appreciate each and every one of them. Last night a group of friends from work held a shower for Holly, and it was her first experience going to a social event. She was fine til we got through the door, and she was met with a bunch of smiling faces and balloons, and lots of happy chatter directed pretty much in her direction. Most kids would beam and glow at being the center of such attention, but, as she doesn't really like new situations she did about what I expected her to do. She frowned, clung to Daddy, and bordered on crying for about the first hour we were there. I had said to Tim that he should carry her in, but, she was in such a hurry to keep up with Myleigh, who shot ahead of us to get to be the one to ring the doorbell, that he didn't get to her until we were all inside and she came face to face with all the new people.

I just said for everyone to ignore her, which is our strategy when she is feeling overwhelmed by a new experience. We just turn our attention away from her, interact in the new situation with a very matter-of-fact attitude, and just let her settle in and decide for herself that it's ok, no big deal, and she can relax and feel safe. She sat on Tim's lap most of the time, and once I saw she was just keeping some of the pouting going because she wanted to broadcast to everyone not to take her from Daddy, and keep them at arms length, I decided it was time to draw her out.

It was time to open presents, so, I offered her the first one, knowing full well she would just say no, or should I say "back" which is her new word to say when she is rejecting something. I'm not sure yet if she means to get it away or if she thinks she's saying "bad" but I'm leaning toward "bad". I used my most successful tactic to get her to loosen up, I teased her. I would pretend that I was going to open it, but, not let her see it. I showed everyone but her, and we all made a big deal about what was inside, so, by the time I showed it to her, she was very interested in it. We did that with most of the presents, trying a couple of times to get her to open one, but, she was happy to let me do it for her. As she relaxed more and more, she started to smile, and laugh, and actually interacted with people. She eventually got down and stood away from Tim, but, not for very long.

All in all it was a good experience for her, and I think in spite of herself she had a good time.

She wasn't the least bit interested in playing with any of her new toys at the party, as I expected, but, once we got home, she was into all of them, again, as I expected. I had to tell her to put them down, since it was past her bedtime, but, first thing this morning she tore into each and every one, and is now wearing some of the clothes, and is playing with the toys. With each one, she shows them to me and says "wohdee" which means mine in Chinese.

Each time she has a new experience, it confirms for her that she has a good life here, and helps her trust the experiences yet to come.

She's calling us new names, or she's using our names to mean something new. She has started calling Tim and I "mamalee" and "babalee" She'll do that when she's looking for us. It could mean where is Mama and Baba, but, I'm not sure about that. It sounds so cute. I'll be in another part of the house, and hear her calling "mamalee, mamalee!" .

We've been working with her to not only preserve her Chinese language as much as possible, but, to learn to speak English. She watches her Chinese children's DVD's pretty much everyday. We will use some of the Chinese we know, which is limited, and not correct her if she uses a Chinese word for something. On the other hand, if she is just using hand signals and pointing instead of saying an English word, I insist that she try. Sometimes she'll be stubborn, but, most of the time she gives it a try, and is proud of herself when she gets the big response from us, and especially when she says something in English without being prompted and she knows she has mastered that word. Yesterday she said her first full sentence in English with no prompting at all.

Most of the day she and I spend together and she chatters away in Chinese, with me doing my best to understand what she's trying to say, and her doing the same. Somehow we figure it all out, and have conversations. Well, it was time to play outside, and she knew she needed shoes and a jacket on. She looked around for a bit, and then came to me and said "Where are my shoes?" It was as exciting for me as if she were an infant taking her first steps.

Time flies when you're having fun

2010-03-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post. We've been pretty busy around here, and I am hoping things settle down a bit before I have to go back to work. We've figured out the day care situation, so that Holly doesn't have to go to a day care or babysitter. Our schedules will rotate around each other to some degree, and when they don't, Mindy will be home, so, we're all set.

Holly will have a difficult time getting used to Mama being gone so much, but, at least she won't have the stress of having to be with strangers not in her own home where things are familiar. The language barrier still exists, but, for us, it's not as much of a challenge, as we know her so well that there have only been a few times lately that we couldn't decipher what she was trying to tell us or what she was feeling. One of those times was yesterday morning.

Tim went into the girls room to get Myleigh up for school, and both girls were still sound asleep. When he was moving around the room, Holly woke up, and immediately started to cry, as if she had been having a nightmare. He picked her up and tried to figure out what was wrong, but, she just sobbed and sobbed. He made breakfast for both of them, but, she wouldn't eat. She just cried. I took her and Myleigh up to brush their teeth, and she really didn't want to cooperate, but, relented. I tried to figure out if she wasn't feeling well, or if she hurt somewhere, but, that wasn't easy, since she just wanted to cry. No fever, no wincing if I picked her up or touched her arms legs, or tummy, no sign of obvious illness. So, there was just one thing left to try.

I put in the Chinese DVD we had gotten at the Trustmart in Guangzhou of a children's performance group singing and dancing to celebrate Chinese New Year, into my laptop, and sat her on my chair at the table. She immediately quieted and just sat for about an hour watching without moving. I gave her some cherrios, no milk, in a bowl, and she munched on them while she watched quietly. After a bit, she started to interact with us, and smile. She was slowly back to her old cheery self, and asked to watch some of the other DVD's in Chinese, and then lost interest and started to shadow me again. She even helped me to let the dogs out of their crates, which is huge for her since it involves going down into the basement which is a fear of hers since it's where the dogs are kept and even though our basement is finished and like the rest of the house, it's still a basement, underground, so, not something she likes to do.

The rest of the day she was happy as a clam. All I can figure out is that she was grieving and wanting her foster grandparents, and was frustrated that she couldn't tell us, because she couldn't talk to us, so, the Chinese being sung and spoken was soothing and gave her a chance to at least hear words she knows and listen to songs she is familiar with. It's like calling home.

Blog changes

2010-03-08T14:59:00.000-08:00

I am changing the blog layout to make it user friendly for anyone that wants tips, or advice in planning an adoption from China. I have put some links to other pages on the sidebar to the right, and will be working on those pages over the next few weeks and months. There will be very detailed information, and a place on each page where people can post and have others post replies. I believe that many hands make short work and therefore want to open the blog to those who want a place to exchange information and support. If this blog becomes a source that others choose to use frequently enough, I will make it open to free posting with only moderation of the posts. Until then, I will be previewing all posts for content, so we can all feel safe about what we will encounter here.

Conquering the fear of dogs

2010-03-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

Seems that our strategy worked. Holly Jun is much more comfortable with the dogs, and has even begun to boss them around a bit. We took it slow, and tried to be very matter of fact. We gave her time with each dog, one on one, and did not give into her attempts to just avoid them. We would walk her through the room they were in, and kept telling her it was ok, and see, the doggies like you.

Over the past two weeks she has gone from screaming in fear at their presence in the same room, to trotting out to the backyard to get her hat when the dogs were out there, and she knew it. She didn't hesitate for a second, just marched out, with them following close behind. I hadn't even realized she had gone out there until she came back in, proudly carrying her hat and telling the dogs that they could not come in, in Chinese of course.

By not making a big deal of it, and not keeping the dogs away from her, or reinforcing her fear by overreaction whenever the dogs came too close or by always keeping them separate, I think she had a sense that when we said it was ok, we were telling her the truth, and she trusted us. I hope that by learning she can trust when we say something will be ok, she will be less upset at changes as they come, which they will when she goes to kindergarten in the fall.

Figuring out clothing sizes

2010-03-04T13:49:00.001-08:00

So, after much trial and error, and knowing that Asian children have basically no tush and long legs, and long torsos, big round heads, we have narrowed down clothing sizes.

She currently fits nicely into size 5 slim bottoms, and size 6/6x tops. She could even wear 7/8 tops, but, the 6's are a better fit. She wears size 10 1/2 shoes, not the size 4's the orphanage told us, which is a relief since that means her feet are not out of proportion from the rest of her.

She loves to go shopping for clothes. This girl knows what she likes and doesn't like, and has very particular taste. We've had to do a lot of shopping to size up what I had gotten for her before we went to China. After a few trips, I took her to Walmart and we were passing the children's clothing section, and she got a confused look on her face and pointed at the clothes and said "Mama?!" as if to ask why we weren't stopping there. When I told her no and shook my head, she got a very teenage looking disgusted expression on her face and sighed.

So, if you're adopting from China, and you have been given measurements that seem out of whack, take them with a grain of salt.

Lupus support

2010-03-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcM2UVxg1k4

Purchase this song on Itunes and help support Lupus research and awareness.

2010-03-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

She's a SWAT girl now.

2010-03-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

Holly found my SWAT DOG hat in my closet and immediately put it on. She even pulled her pony tail through the hole in the back, so, I'm thinking somebody taught her how to do that in China, because none of us did. She likes the hat and wears it almost constantly, so, when Myleigh got home from school, and saw Holly wearing mine, she ran and got hers and then of course, later on, there was a mix up of who's was whose. So, I put their names in their respective SWAT hats, and now they're happy.

The first day at Church

2010-03-02T08:29:00.000-08:00

Here are the girls, or the Little Girls as Myleigh likes us to call them since Katie and Mindy are the Girls, on their first Sunday going to church together. It was an exciting time for Myleigh, getting to show off her new sister, and Holly did well right up until it was time to be in a classroom for Primary, and then she had a little meltdown. She wanted Daddy, so I relented given the stress of the situation, and took her to him in Priesthood session. She apparently then was ok til he took her to his classroom, and she cried, then snuggled and fell asleep, and then woke up and cried, and then when she saw Myleigh after classes were out, she was a happy camper again. What she learned was that we go to these classes, and then we all get back together, so, next week should be a little better. We'll see.

Me and my shadow

2010-03-02T08:04:00.000-08:00

Since the kids have been back in school for a few days this week, and Tim has either been at work or at training, it's been just Holly and me most of the morning, and sometimes in the afternoon. She spends every second being with me, following me wherever I go, and helping me to do whatever I'm doing. This kid really likes to help. Right now she's organizing the grocery bags that are sitting at the top of the stairs waiting for me to take them to the cold storage room to sort the groceries onto the shelves. I just put them in a pile, but, she has now sorted and lined them up neatly.

Myleigh likes to teach her little sister new things, and yesterday she taught Holly to count to 20 in English. Mostly she just repeats what Myleigh says, but, after a while I expect it will be something she really has learned to do. Her bigger sisters have taught her to say thank you and your welcome. She has learned to say shoes, bye bye, no (which is now her new favorite word), banana, and calls everyone by name. She still uses a lot of Chinese, and gets a bit frustrated sometimes when she's really trying to tell us something and we aren't getting it, but, for the most part she understands that we don't speak Chinese and does what she can to help us. Such a patient child.

The morning meltdowns have ended. On Friday she went with Tim to take Myleigh to school, and I guess she didn't understand that Myleigh was going to leave the car without them and they were going to come back home. She cried and cried for about an hour. I took her with me that afternoon to bring Myleigh home, and it must have clicked in her head what was going on, because on Monday we took Myleigh to school and she was fine, even seemed content to leave her there. When Myleigh came home in the afternoon she was thrilled, but, not surprised.

Each day she lets me deeper into her world and into her heart. She has been happily spending days with just me, and likes to go places with me in the car. Then, yesterday, there was another sudden breakthrough. We were at the Timpview high school ballroom for Mindy's lesson. We had to sit around and wait while Mindy and David danced for an hour, and that meant the girls were going to get bored, which they did. It wasn't long before they were both sitting on my lap, which Holly has never done before, and after a few minutes, Holly actually snuggled. I'm in!

Mindy is still dealing with the fallout from pretending to cry when Holly got a bit too rough in her playing and hit her. That was over a week ago, but, Holly has not forgiven her entirely, and still pushes her away when she tries to play or love on her. It's getting better, but, I can tell it hurts her, especially since she was the favorite for the first week, and now, she can't even pick her up without a protest. In time it will be fine, but, Holly has to deal with the way Mindy is, and how she teases and pretends, which obviously we can't explain to her. Mindy was all fun and frolic until she did something Holly couldn't interpret, and that was that. It's such a fine line we all walk, realizing that some things just can't happen until we can say to her in words she will understand that this is ok or that is ok and not to worry about it.

The dogs are still an issue for her. We try to keep them outside or in their crates to some degree, but, give her some interaction with them increasingly so she will slowly get comfortable with them. More and more we just leave them in and just let her know that they are inside so she isn't surprised. A couple of times she has encountered them and been ok, not thrilled, but, the less they pay attention to her the easier it gets. And then there was last night. She had been in the office with Myleigh playing with their kitchen set, and Myleigh decided to come into the kitchen, where the dogs were, and show us something. After a bit I asked where Holly was, and we went looking for her. I found her upstairs on her bed, and when she saw me she cried. I brought her downstairs, and she immediatley started looking for the dogs, and that told me pretty much what I think happened. She tried to follow Myleigh, saw that the dogs were inside, and didn't know how to tell us that she wanted to come into the kitchen, too. She went to her bedroom where she knew the dogs could not go. They are only allowed in the kitchen and dining room, but, she worries that they will be able to come down the hallway to the office, so she doesn't trust that she is safe there. The dogs have never done anything to be concerned about, except that Duncan, the Westie, is very interested and wants desperately to sniff her to figure her out, and she wants none of that, which makes him that much more determined, and Daisy the Pomeranian is such a clown, she bounces and dances around constantly, which freaks Holly out, because she is so unpredictable.

I'm planning to do more proactive interaction with her this week with the dogs. Already I have had her give them treats from the safety of the loveseat in the dining room, and have had her stand beside me on the floor as they walked around, and she was ok with that, so, I expect slow but steady progress with a few set backs along the way. By the end of the month we should be able to have her not so afraid, maybe just cautious.

Blonde hair is ok after all

2010-02-27T12:48:00.000-08:00

Well, if Holly was having issues with me being a blonde, she is over it. Last night at the competition I felt her hand touching my hair for the first time. After a few minutes she looked at me to see if I was ok with it. Of course I was, so, she started doing it again, only this time she was reaching way up in it and pulling her fingers through. After a bit she was wrapping it around her fingers, and then putting it in pony tails.

The last couple of days have been hard for her. She doesn't like at all when Myleigh goes to school. She gets so upset. Hopefully she'll get used to that soon.

Her English aquisition is growing steadily. Last night she dropped something in the bleachers, and when she looked down and found it she said "Der it is" She parrots much of what Myleigh says, and that seems to be helping. She still likes to watch her Chinese DVD's and I'm hoping that's soothing to her.

Blending the old with the new

2010-02-24T12:51:00.000-08:00

Bringing a child from China into a decidedly American family has it's growing pains. Like communication. We do alot by sign language, not literal sign language but a variation on pointing, and trial and error. Holly is very patient with our inability to speak Chinese, and with our occasional attempts at it which are pretty obviously slaughtering the language, based on the looks she often gives us. She has even taken to trying to correct our pronounciation, but, I think she knows we're basically a hopeless case and she tolerates us. She is picking up at least an understanding of what we are saying. If I ask her if she wants more of something, or if she wants a bite of something, she is able to get what I'm saying.

We rely on some words we do know, like Oleo for telling her she needs to go potty before we head out the door or before bed. She knows exactly what we expect, and that is the only time she will go to the bathroom on command. We play with her when she says Beeyow, which is telling us she doesn't want something, by repeating it back playfully, and she thinks that's pretty funny, since she knows we do understand that word.

I took her shopping for a few age appropriate toys at ToysRUS, since Myleigh no longer has much in the way of preschool toys. This girl really knows what she wants and doesn't want. She has taken a liking to Ni Hao Kai Lan toys, and is not too interested in Sesame Street or Barney. She likes the Teletubbies, but, not Dora. She doesn't like dolls as a rule, but, we found one by FAO Schwartz that is an Asian baby doll, and she immediately liked that one. All I have to do is show her something and she will let me know if she approves or not. If she doesn't like it, she makes a scrunched up face and says BeeYow. If she likes it, she nods her approval and puts the item in the cart.

She ended up with a kitchen set and table and chairs to share with her sister, and ultimately to put in the playhouse when the weather improves. Two folding strollers for both girls to push their dolls in. Some puzzles and a story reader with books that the reader reads out loud for her. And her favorite, a little toy microwave oven with a working turntable with some food and dishes sets for the kitchen set. When we got home, and it was all set up, she sat and played so happily and so quietly, that I was able to get some housework done without worrying that she was bored. I peeked at her at one point, and saw her pouring water from the little tea pot into a tea cup. Well, I hadnt given her any water, but, I had given her water in her sippy cup. I kept watching her, and what she was doing was sucking up water from the sippy cup straw, and then spitting it into her tea pot. So funny, but, I knew Myleigh wouldn't want to drink tea with her, so, I washed out the cups and tea pot, and put some water in the tea pot for her to use.

When Myleigh got home they played together the rest of the day without interruption, until the two grown up sisters showed up. Before I knew it, all four of my girls were playing house, pouring tea and cooking food, and setting up the table. Very cute.

When it was bedtime, I had two rambunctous girls to wrangle into bed. I thought that I had them settled down enough that they would go right to sleep, but, in a few minutes Myleigh comes down stairs to tell me Holly had pulled her blankets off her bed. Holly was laughing when I came into the room, and while I had to be firm with her and get her back into bed, it was hard not to laugh with her.

Donations for our adoption fund

2010-02-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

We have been so humbled by the many requests we have had for a way to donate to our adoption fund. We in no way want anyone to think we are soliciting for donations, but, have been asked to provide a way to do that, so, I placed a link to our paypal account with a direct deposit into our adoption fund. We thank everyone for their support, and know that we are surrounded by amazing friends and family.

The first real hug

2010-02-20T21:36:00.000-08:00

It finally happened. Holly finally reached out and hugged me, really hugged me. Not by accident, and not because I hugged her first. It wasn't a fake kind of well if I have to hug.

We were at the UVU Ballroom Dancesport competition, and she chose to sit next to me. She leaned over into me, and then looked up and me with a new kind of admiration. Myleigh came over and gave me a hug, and then walked away. Without any warning Holly reached up, smiled a big smile, and hugged me, and for a long time. I couldn't believe she did it, and I didn't want to make too big of a deal out of it. I wanted it to feel just as natural of a reaction to her as it did when Myleigh hugged me. I think it worked, because she has been so different since then with me. Not the way I know it will be in time, but, it's pretty clear she is starting to see me not only as the Mama she has, but, the Mama she wants to have.

She had so much fun today at the comp. I thought she would be bored literally to tears, but, with a few trips to the hallway for a run and play session, and with the team members taking off with both her and Myleigh to play, visit with the rest of the team, and dance during the open dance times, she and Myleigh lasted the whole day.

One week home.

2010-02-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

We've been home a week today, and things are dramatically different in just that seven days.

From Holly completely rejecting me, and spending the better part of the day crying, tantruming, or whining and refusing anything I offered her, clinging to her Baba and melting down if she lost contact with him, to today. Baba had to go back to work.

After spending the night in her own bed, without waking or having any sleep problems, she woke up fairly happily, playing with Myleigh. I gave them both some cereal in a cup and she took it and ate it all. Then they played with their DS's in their room until it was time to get dressed. They are both wearing the same shirt and have their hair in pigtails. She has greeted everyone as they got up this morning, and gave big brother James a huge hug. Baba has gone about his morning as usual, without his little shadow. She hardly seems to pay attention to what he is doing or where he is anymore. Then it was time for Baba to leave, and she waved bye bye and out the door he went. As simple as that. The big event he was most concerned about and it was a non event.

Now she is doing something she has never done before, she went upstairs to play in her room, by herself! Finally, she knows she can wander around her own house. I think she really, really knows she is home and she belongs to us and us to her. She still isn't keen on the dogs, but, is getting used to them being close to her, as long as she is up on the furniture, and they are on the floor. That's a step to take some time later next week. For now, I'm glad she's settling in so well. I think the hardest part for her is when all the kids are gone to school and she is bored. Maybe now that she is more relaxed with me she'll be ok with spending time just the two of us next week.

Making new friends

2010-02-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

Right now Holly Jun is upstairs with her sister Myleigh, and two new friends, Savannah and Mckayla, neither of which speak Chinese, at least not much that I know of, but, they have a Chinese grandmother, so, perhaps there is some spoken in their family that they have picked up. Either way, Holly is chattering away up there like I haven't heard yet. She was so excited when they got here, as they are the first kid visitors we have had. I wasn't sure how she would interact with them, but, she's acting like she believes they will understand her, and she is undaunted in her attempts to be a part of the group. I just hope she doesn't become too frustrated.

Last night I took her to parent teacher night at Mindy's high school where she is on a ballroom dance team. The whole team has taken to Myleigh over the past two years. They knew we were bringing home Holly, and a bunch of them came over to the table where I was talking to the coach. She loves two of the boys, who both have dark hair, and chattered at them and showed off her sassy side. She is loving using her few English words, especially bye bye and thank you, to the delight of her audience.

Today Holly and I had a go round over rules. I have a firm rule about how close the children can get to the gas fireplace in our dining room, and she wanted to disobey as her brother and sister were watching, and she was determined that I was not going to tell her what to do. So, in time out she went, and after the requisite 5 minutes, I asked her if she wanted to come out, and reached for her, but, she shook her head no and stood her ground. This went on for about an hour, until she finally relented, and sat on my lap in the rocker while I talked to her and told her I love her. After a bit she wanted water, and was hungry, so I fed her grapes, which she readily accepted, which is a big deal in our relationship.

Then, I did something she didn't expect. I asked her if she wanted to play outside with Baba. She was happy and cooperated with me, and afterward she has been playing with me, bringing me things, calling me mama, and even teaching me Chinese words for things. Little battles equal big victories.

swinging in the backyard

2010-02-18T07:47:00.000-08:00

Success

2010-02-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

We have success!!

After waiting her out, and after both Myleigh and Tim were out the door this morning, I gave Holly her cheerios and some sliced banana in a bowl, and some milk in a sippy cup, popped her up on the loveseat in the dining room, with Mickey Mouse on the TV. She looked interested at me, and started chowing down. Ahh. Hopefully, the rest of the day will show a little baby step here and there.

Our fifth day home

2010-02-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

We've been home five days now. Some things are going along smoothly, and others are still a struggle. Nothing more than I expected, but, oh it will be nice when we're all back to normal, or as close as we're liable to get.

Holly has attached strongly to all her siblings, and of course to Baba, but, still keeps me at arms length. I could speculate why, but, Ive seen enough signs that she wants to reach out to me, that I know in time she'll be fine.

Myleigh is thrilled that she has the sister she always wanted, and they are pretty much inseperable most of the time. Today Myleigh goes back to school for the first time since we brought Holly home, and that will be an interesting adjustment for Holly, dealing with being home all day without her sister to play with.

Holly is not what I would call a morning person, by a long shot. She wakes up grouchy, whiney, and refuses to eat breakfast. She just sits in front of her bowl either fussing or watching TV. I have decided to take the approach that if she eats, great, if not, she'll be hungry come the next meal. I have her sit there, for as long as I think it may take for her to decide to eat, and then, I take the food and let her get down from the table. It started to work yesterday, but, today we are back at it already this morning, so, we'll see what today brings. She uses food as a control issue, only taking it from someone other than me, so, I have to insist that no one else offer her food. Yesterday, without thinking, Tim took the lunch I put in front of her that she refused to eat, and when I went out the door to the store, he reheated it and gave it back to her. She ate it.

She'll eat dinner if all of us are sitting together at the table, in my view it's because she is sharing it with everyone else, and my involvement is minimal. So, through the day she does eat, just not what I hope to see over the next few days. I'm trying not to turn this into a power struggle, but, the more she pushes me away, the harder it will be when Tim goes back to work in a couple of days. So, we press on.

When I took her to Wendys she ate her entire kids meal. Maybe it's about junk food. Still a work in progress, but, we don't do junk food that often, and she'll have to get used to eating healthy, even if it isn't loaded with sugar and grease.

Holly slept all night last night in her bedroom with Myleigh. Tim had been spending the night on an air mattress on their floor, but, he showed her where his bed is and that he will be sleeping there. She accepted it, went to bed, slept all night, with us keeping an ear out with a baby monitor. So, that's progress.

2010-02-18T07:10:00.000-08:00

Some pictures from home

2010-02-18T07:08:00.001-08:00

At the Guangzhou zoo

2010-02-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

Holly loves Pandas. She gets so excited and says shomo panda, shomo is panda in Chinese.

The red couch photo

2010-02-15T12:48:00.001-08:00

I have a picture of Myleigh on this same red couch, at the White Swan hotel on Shamain Island. Had to get one of Holly. Maybe someday when we bring them back for a heritage visit we can get both girls, all grown up, on that sofa together.

At the White Swan

2010-02-15T12:45:00.000-08:00

Jordon's is still there, barely hanging on

2010-02-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

Watching Chinese teletubbies

2010-02-15T12:40:00.000-08:00

A sign advertising special rice cakes for The Chinese New Year

2010-02-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

Im pretty sure they mean carp shaped.

Walking around Shamain Island park

2010-02-15T12:34:00.000-08:00

Lunch at Lucy's

2010-02-15T12:31:00.000-08:00

the checkup

2010-02-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

On our way to the Medical checkup

2010-02-15T12:26:00.000-08:00

getting ready to leave Wuhan

2010-02-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

These were taken at the airport. Holly had been so excited to see the airplanes, Fayjee in Chinese.

A few pictures from the second day

2010-02-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Pizza Hut in China

2010-02-15T11:59:00.000-08:00

I thought it would be interesting for everyone to see what a pizza hut special looks like in China. Those things on the pizza are battered dipped deep fried shrimp, the cake is very gelatinous, kind of like a foamy jello pie, the green stuff is soup, I think a spinach type, and the cream stuff is mushroom soup. It was soooo good.

We're Home

2010-02-14T13:23:00.000-08:00

We made it safely home and adjustments are coming along slow but steady.

After spending the morning on our last day in Guangzhou at the Chen family temple, we finished up packing and headed out for the airport with two other families who were also leaving that day, one of which was traveling on our flight, and the other family moving onto Beijing for CNY.

Our flight to LAX was smooth sailing. Holly woke once or twice, but, no real problems. She was at the beginning of a nasty cold, that I think combined with the changing pressure from the flight, and ended up with an ear ache. Flying Premium Economy was definitely worth the cost of the upgrade, so Tim's trip with Vicki through the subway paid off. Once we were in LAX we navigated the immigration lines fairly smoothly, and then sailed through customs. We picked up our luggage and made our way to the hotel for our long layover.

I have decided that the US version of a suite has nothing on a Chinese version, and a bit of a letdown. All it had really was more space, but, the suites in China are quite nice, even elegant. Still, it's a Sheraton, so the beds were dreamy. Tim and I had the first full on salad we had allowed ourselves for the past two weeks. We're both pretty adventurous, and if we hadn't had a new little one to care for and get through such a traumatic change, we could have risked any stomach issues that might have arisen from eating raw, washed foods, but, we felt it best to err on the side of caution, and still, we experienced some great new things.

We slept as long as we could, a few hours at best, but, it was much needed, and then went to LAX again, for what can only be described as the most ridiculous and frustrating experience the entire trip. Delta airlines. Need I say more? For anyone with any degree of experience with them, no, but, for those not in the habit of flying with them, let me warn you not to expect a large degree of competence or even customer service. I plan to write a long scathing letter to their corporate office, but, don't really expect any response.

Anyway, we flew home in time to see Katie before she left for the drumline competition she was going to, which was wonderful, and James was home, too, a nice bonus. Mindy and Myleigh were still gone at a ballroom practice.

Holly Jun had slept the entire drive home, so, she was cranky when we got to the house. We pulled up in front and showed her the house, and showed her the picture of our house she had in her photo album. She was less than excited. We took her in, and she was fussy, didn't want Tim to put her down for a second. When he did, she lost it, and just screamed and cried for about an hour. Things weren't much better the rest of the day. She ended up taking a long nap, as did Tim and I, and while that didn't help a ton, at least it was quiet for a while. She got to know the girls better last night, and thinks Mindy is hilarious. She was interested in Myleigh, but, kept her distance which made Myleigh so sad, poor thing. I explained that Holly needed more time, and to try to be patient, but, she's waited for a little sister for so long, it's just hard.

We all took some kind of meds to help sleep, Holly had some benadryl to help with the cold as well as sleep, and the night was pretty smooth, except for Tim who had to sleep on the floor next to her bed. This morning she was still feeling the ear ache, so, I used the analgesic ear drops, and some more meds for the cough and runny nose, and in an hour she was laughing and playing with the girls again. I took the two older girls to do some shopping for food and while we were gone, Tim had taken the little girls outside to play. It was wonderful to come home and find them on the swings together laughing and being sisters. Finally, things are starting to be more what they will be as Holly really settles into her new life. Right now they're playing, Holly following Myleigh all over and copying what she does. So cute.

our lovely guide vicki

2010-02-11T21:37:00.001-08:00

Farewell to China

2010-02-11T21:29:00.001-08:00

Today we will bid a very fond farewell to China and all our wonderful travel group and guides. It's been a great trip, we've met wonderful people, seen some amazing sights, gone to the most interesting places, and are bringing home many many memories we'll treasure for a long time. At least until we come back to bring the girls on a heritage tour.

We're so anxious to be with all our kids again. We have missed James, Katie, Mindy and Myleigh terribly, and if only we were rich, we could have brought them with us.

This morning we visited the Chen family temple, which was beautiful. It makes me wish we had our own family temple, and more determined to create that zen garden that we have planned for our back yard. i have gotten some great ideas here.

We're having lunch and then off we go to the airport. Lily will be coming with us to help with check in, but, we're pretty savvy in navigating through China, so, we're not concerned, although we appreciate any help with translations, especially if there are any problems.

We did find out something about Holly's story that breaks our hearts. Apparently, she was placed with a family from Spain when she was just 14 months old. They actually had her with them, and for whatever reason, they brought her back the next day and said they didn't want her. Luckily, she was far too young to really understand what happened, but, it's so heart breaking. I am glad for us that they did, and for her, if they weren't the right family it's best that they found that out early, just so sad for a child to be put on approval of sorts.

We've had a number of people ask if there is a way for them to help out with the costs of the adoption, and we thought long and hard about it. Finally, we have decided to set up a way through paypal where donations can be sent. I'll be putting a link on our blog when we get back to the US. We so deeply appreciate that there are those in our lives that want to help with what has been a huge undertaking.

Oh and for a side note, for those preparing to come to China, if you like to use deodorant, and we do, you will want to make sure you have what you'll need for the entire trip, especially if you travel in the winter time, as we have. For some reason, they don't sell deodorant in China, not anywhere we've been in Wuhan or Guangzhou in the winter. They explained that Chinese don't use it in winter. Somehow in his packing and repacking, Tim ended up without his deodorant, and found out the hard way that Secret really is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

A little under the weather

2010-02-10T22:24:00.001-08:00

Well, it was bound to happen to one of us, since we really aren't afraid to try new things and so much is available. Im just glad it was me instead of one of the others. From what I have figured out it was probably the fish on the breakfast buffet. It's usually really good, but, this time it had a bit of an off taste. I didn't eat much, not enough to be full on sick, but, enough to have an uncomfortable night, and to know for sure that it was good we didn't end up on the dinner cruise last night. would have ruined the whole thing for everyone else Im sure. Since this body can stand to miss a few meals, it wasn't a tragedy to opt out of both dinner last night and breakfast this morning.

This afternoon we head out to the US consulate here in Guangzhou, and for the first time in two weeks we will be on US soil. I would bring back pictures, but, cameras are not allowed.

We said a sad farewell to one of our guides, sweet Vicki, yesterday. We gave her a bouquet of flowers, and she seemed very surprised. According to Rebecca, Vicki was very touched that we would do that. We're going to miss Vicki and Rebecca both. Today we will be meeting the famous Lily, who was responsible for helping us find our Holly Jun and securing her file for us.

This morning Tim and Holly went with the group to the Botanical Gardens, I was not up to it and Matthew had homework to do. Apparently it didn't go too well. Holly has been learning that no means no, and there are limits, and she is none too happy about it. She and I went round one and two this morning over me telling her to put her sweater in her suitcase, and her flat refusing with a naughty smile on her face. Guess who won? So, after being in time out once today already, she must have decided to test Tim to see if he is going to be a pushover or not. It all started over a pin wheel. Tim got her a small pin wheel, but, she wanted a really big one. She threw herself on the ground, screaming and crying. Tim stood his ground. After a while of screaming, and refusing to move, she quieted down, but, as soon as Tim tried to get her some ice cream, she reeled back into it, An older Chinese woman came over and tried to give Holly the big
pinwheel she wanted, but, Tim told her no, and Rebecca did what she could to let Holly know she was being naughty and should stop. Nearly the whole time they were there she was fussing and fuming. Finally it was time to go, and at that she was fine again, but, it had been an epic battle and will go down in history as the battle of the pinwheel. I give it one day before they go round two, the first battle over, parents 1 Holly 0, and the war is far from over. She's a tough competitor, but, we're the seasoned warriors.

It seems Tim has fallen in love with China and it's people. He was saying this morning how much he's going to miss Guangzhou. It's funny how this country has a way of becoming a part of you.

The last piece of the paperwork puzzle

2010-02-09T19:23:00.001-08:00

We got the call this morning that our consulate paperwork is done, and there were no problems. Truthfully, I was surprised, as nothing to do with our paperwork has been without problems, but, this time it all worked out, after a bit of tweeking. The referral paperwork was all about when she was a baby, and had not been officially updated with new picture and medical report, just an update from the SWI about her progress. I had to write in a brief statement about that, but, was it, and i was anticipating them wanting something more official than that. I guess it was enough, and after the hoops we had to jump through to get to this point, it was high time.

So, that means we have the day to do what we want, and tomorrow we can go to the consulate to do the official "Yep she's ours" in the eyes of the US government, and the next day we get her Visa. Today a lot of the families are going on a dinner cruise on the Pearl River. We're opting out of this one, We want to hit the Banana Leaf instead.

This afternoon we'll head across the street to do a bit more shopping for more Chinese children's dvds and another suitcase for all the stuff we've bought. Holly was really on one this morning, but, now she's quieted down and is playing with her toys, and reorganizing her suitcase. She likes to unzip it, move things around, and zip it back up.

She played more in the bath last night, so, Im thinking she is starting to like playing in the water. It's so funny to watch her pour water over her head. She takes a big bowl full and just dumps it over her head and laughs.

We have to keep an eagle eye on her when we are getting on and off buses. The traffic is crazy, and she doesn't realize she is in danger when she thinks she can be a bit more independant. But, at least she isn't afraid to get a little bit away from Baba now that some time has passed and she's gotten comfortable with the fact that we are always going to be here with her.

Yesterday was a break through day for her. Tim had some things he needed to take care of, and that was not going to be a good situation to have a 5 year old tagging along for, so, I said leave her with Matthew and i, and we would just deal with the melt down when Baba leaves without her. Well, guess what. No melt down. Baba just said he'll be back, and left. She watched videos, played with toys, had a snack, went potty on her own (after letting me know what she was going to do), and watched TV with Matt and I. She's interacting more and more with me, and has a game that she plays only with me. She hides something, asks me where it is, then when i say with surprise where is it, she laughs and produces it.

Discipline is a key to having control over her behavior even now. Being a 5 year old, she sometimes wants to be out of control. We determined early that if it's going to be wrong later, it has to be wrong now, and that has worked great. She appreciates knowing her boundaries, and what she can and cannot do. She responds quickly.

We did have a paperwork concern regarding her passport. Turns out it was issued when she was two years old, which means someone petitioned to adopt her then, and changed their mind. We're trying to find out if she was actually placed with the family and then given back, or if the province issued her passport when her referral was accepted, and the family changed their mind before they came to China. It's not a huge problem, the passport is still good, but, it does raise the question about her story, and we have asked Rebecca to find out from Lily what exactly happened. We really want to know as it is a piece of her personal history, One of the other children in our group had been placed with a family, and they spent time with her in province just to turn her back over to the orphanage thinking there was something wrong with her, developmentally, when she is perfectly healthy and normal. She's such a little cutie, I can't imagine how that must
have confused her, but, she now has a family that loves her. So, sometimes these things work themselves out.

Holly is now hugging her gugu, which is Chinese for brother. She loves him. So sweet. And, she's playing with her toy Fayjee, which is Chinese for airplane. We had no idea when we bought it that it made noise. ah well.

Teri (50) in Utah, dh Tim (51)
Seven homegrown kids John 32, Jessica 28, James 23, Katie 20, Minuet 18,and Matthew 14, Myleigh YiXin 7 years old,and our sweet Nick who passed away far too soon at the tender age of 20 years old.
In China bringing home Huang FuJun/soon to be Holly Jun Nicole, 5 years old.

pictures

2010-02-09T03:05:00.001-08:00

pictures

2010-02-09T03:03:00.001-08:00

pictures

2010-02-09T03:00:00.001-08:00

Two great days

2010-02-09T02:55:00.001-08:00

The past two days have been great. Yesterday we spent time at Shamain Island, the intent was to get Holly Jun's TB test looked at, which we did, and she had zero reaction so we were done. Then we wandered over to Jordon's and did some souvenier shopping. I felt really bad for Jordon, his whole life is wrapped up in a store that is slowly becoming a piece of adoption history.

We had Holly's name written by Jordon in calligraphy, and translated into English, apparently Holly means Beautiful Tender.

We ended up getting all of our Shamain Island chochkies at Jordon's, and then just had lunch at Lucy's one last time. Tim has decided the mint milk shake is a favorite. After lunch we went to the White swan and took Holly's picture on a red couch, yes they're still there, on the second floor, and i just had to get one of her, since I have one of Myleigh.

On the way back to the hotel we stopped at the LiWan mall again, and did some pearl shopping. Rebecca showed us her favorite pearl shop, and we watched as they strung and individually knotted each necklace and bracelet. We ended up spending 30 dollars U.S. for a necklace and bracelet set in medium quality pearls.

For dinner we had danny's bagels delivery, very authentic Italian. Matthew was happy, he ate an entire pizza all by himself. The night before we ate at Sahba , a restaurant that makes malaysian, vietnamese and chinese food. Matthew was none too happy with what he ordered. It was supposed to be bbq pork and noodles, but, ended up being mostly fat and bones and a little noodles. He ordered a drink that was green, probably his first clue that it was going to be different, and it was. It was like green jello with too much water in it, plus some coconut milk, and noodles. yes, noodles. He gave it the old college try, but, it just wasn't going to happen. We got Holly some delicious coconut rice, soooooo yummy. Since Matthew was not very happy with his dinner, i decided we would get a pizza or something for him, but, first we had to get the check paid. Well, about the time we thought we were almost ready to go out the door, they bring out
"free dessert". It looked like chocolate tapioca, and matthew was a bit happier about that, at least until he took a bite. It wasn't chocolate. It was red bean pudding with clear round noodles. That sealed the deal for him. we were going to have to get pizza.

So, today was the Guangzhou Zoo and another shopping mall, the Jusco.

The zoo is small, but, so pretty. Lush gardens and palm trees all over, and except for the animal enclosures, it was very pleasant. The enclosures were about what I expected, small, but, the animals were surprisingly happy, at least they were happier than the animals in our zoo at home in Salt Lake. The big cats were the ones I felt the saddest for, as they were in very small enclosures, pacing back and forth. Everywhere they were planting peach trees for the New Year, and probably to dress it up for the 2010 Asian games.

We first took a shuttle around just to get the lay of the zoo. It stopped once at the Panda enclosure, where Holly Jun came unglued at the sight of the sole Panda they had there. It was out and walking around, then started eating a pile of bamboo. She calls them shomo panda. According to our guide Vicki, shomo is chinese for panda. Holly just loves pandas. After the shuttle tour, we all split up and walked around the zoo on our own. It was such a beautiful day, and the sun even peeked out a few times.

After the zoo tour, we headed over to a large multi level mall that had a Jusco department store in it. The lower level is a grocery store, with so many things I wish we had available at home. Dozens of mushroom varieties, and fresh fish, and herbs, and great vegetables and fruit. I could go seriously crazy in that place if I had a kitchen here. The other levels were clothing, jewelry , just everything you could want. We found an RC car for Matthew, cheap, and very high quality. While they were checking out cars, I took Holly , who was sitting in the shopping cart, to look around. She was fine, and never even batted an eye at the fact that Baba was no where in sight. We passed some stuffed animals, and she spied a panda. I, of course, let her take it, and she gave it a big hug and plopped it in the cart behind her.

We had already picked up some honey covered walnuts, and some dried green grapes, and a tin of different kinds of Oreos.

We had one last item to hunt for, a special thing to bring home to Mindy, since we already had gotten special things for the other kids. We found something for her there, got it on sale too, which makes Tim happy, and it's in the coolest box.

We got back to the meeting point a bit earlier than most of the other families, and what do I spy next to that spot? A starbucks. So, we got two kiwi juices, and a caramel machiato for mama, and a souvenier guangzhou starbucks mug. Ah, the day was complete.

After we got back, we got take out from the Chinese take out place behind the hotel for lunch, then Tim went on the subway with Vicki to the China Southern office to upgrade our seats. A little less than 2000 US for all four of us.

He said it was such an adventure, and not once did he feel unsafe even when in what Vicki warned him would be a sea of people.

Now we're deciding where to go for dinner, and then, tomorrow, a whole day to do more wandering around the shops in the area around the hotel. We have to stay in the room until we hear from Rebecca about our consulate paperwork, praying there will be no problems, and then, we're outta here.

Thursday we have our consulate appointment, and Friday, we say bye bye to China and head out for home. it's been a great trip.

For the girls

2010-02-06T17:15:00.001-08:00

Katie, Mindy and Myleigh,

Just wanted you to know that we have been running early in the mornings, so, we haven't been able to get on skype to call home. I tried today, but, as it's Saturday night back there, at about 6pm, I figured you were at the competition. We'll try tomorrow. Probably about 6pm your time.

Medical exam day

2010-02-06T14:58:00.001-08:00

I'm posting this a day late, we were just too done in to post again yesterday. Seems like Im playing catch up on my postings through this entire trip.

Anywho, it's 6am Sunday morning here in GZ, and we are all starting to get up and moving, albiet slowly, ready for a day of fun for a change. Yesterday was all about the Visa for Holly to enter the US. We got up late, so we were a bit rushed to start with getting down to breakfast. The restaurant sits right beside a Japanese garden, complete with bridges, coy ponds and a waterfall that falls from high up on the side of the building down a man made rock wall covered in trees and vines. It was gorgeous to sit and eat breakfast with that view through the wall of picture windows. After breakfast we exchanged 300 US dollars for 1900 Chinese Yuan, and met up with several other families from our group doing the same thing, including Gene Peacock. It was great feeling like we were part of a group, and not out on our own as we had been the first half of the trip.

We wandered the garden until it was time to get on the bus with the other families. Rebecca and Vickie were all smiles and of course Rebecca was full of enthusiasm and energy. Driving through the streets of Guangzhou and getting closer to Shamain Island I was hit with emotions I hadn't encountered on this trip so far. I remembered some of the scenery from my trip to bring Myleigh home. By the time we were crossing onto the island I was having a hard time holding it back. The construction on the island was widespread, but, not really as bad as I had been told to expect. Perhaps some cleanup had happened since then. We pulled into the parking area of the White Swan hotel and the tears were welling up. It was just the same as when Myleigh and I had stayed there. We walked in through the lower entrance passed the same statues from six years ago. The rest of the morning was such a surreal re-living of the past memories. The places were pretty much unchanged, but, there was a definite lack of adopting families. Normally they would be everywhere you turned, but, besides our group and one other, I don't recall seeing more than a handful the entire day.

I showed Tim where I had taken Myleigh to pick out a stroller, in the shop by the check in desk, but, no more strollers.

Rebecca told us that once our medical and photos were done, we were free to go about as we choose, but, to meet back there by the check in desk at 2pm. With that we all filed out to the photo shop where all adopting families bring their child to have the photo taken for their Visa. One by one we moved through, and when it was Holly's turn, she smiled so big, and then Matthew tried to interact with her and she rolled her eyes to the side and smirked, and broke up the whole room. It took two tries to get a picture of her not making a silly face.

After that, it was off to the medical clinic. It all went ok at first. Until it was time to get Holly to cooperate with the doctor to complete certain coordination tasks. She flat would not interact with the doctor at all. Rebecca tried to talk her into it, but, no go. After some frustration, the doctor just passed her off. Not sure if there is a check box for stubborn, but, if there is, she passed with 100%.

The eye exam was the same. Each station had new people for Holly to decide if she wanted to cooperate with, and most were a no go. This one was only marginally better. Then we were done. She was declared normal. I could have told them that. All that was left was the dreaded immunizations, and all the families were nervously waiting to find out, based on age and existing records, how many shots our kids were going to have to get all at once. Holly was one of the lucky ones and only had to have four plus a TB test.

As we then waited, one by one filing into the cubicle for the shots, we heard the children ahead of us screaming and crying. Holly just goofed around, didn't even notice. When it was her turn, Tim held her on his lap, and they gave her one, two, shots, no tears, no fussing, no reaction at all. The nurses were visibly surprised, and pleased, and we all cheered after each shot for how well she did, and they fawned over her about being so brave. Then the third and the fourth. Still, a big brave girl. The TB test was injected under the skin of her forearm, and that was it. She was done, and everyone was amazed. They put cute bandaids on each shot site, and then gave Holly a piece of candy for being brave. Then, the nurse reached in the candy jar and gave her another piece. Holly was happy and smiling, just amazing. From what I heard, at least one of the other older kids did just as well.

We walked out of the building relieved that one more step, and the most nerve racking, was over and we were free to wander my old stomping grounds.

As we walked through the old streets, past victorian era homes and buildings, through the gardens, most not as grand as they used to be due to all the construction, there were three wedding parties having pictures taken. We made our way to the Shamain Island park, and to Lucy's diner, for lunch alfresco. Most of the other families in our group had already gotten there, so, it was fun to relax and just be normal for a change. It rained off and on, but, we were dry under our table umbrella.

Afterwards we headed over to the White Swan but not before we took some cute pictures in the park. I showed off the waterfall, the red couch where i took Myleigh's picture, and the birds in the huge cage that Myleigh adored. Holly was in love with those birds, too. We met up with the rest of the group and went back to the Garden.

Later on I met with the other members of our group that Rebecca said should be the smart person from each family. Not that Tim isn't smart, but, I have done all the paperwork for this and for Myleigh's adoptions, so, when it comes to adoption, I'm smart. I remember how long this part took last time, and how many papers needed to be filled out. All of us were surprised when Rebecca said we were done after such a short time and filling out only one paper. For the first time in this entire process it paid off to be a Hague family.

By now it's time to think dinner, so we went across the shopping area, and hunted for what Rebecca called a trustmark. Well, it ended up being a trustmart, but, ah well, close enough. It was like a small target, and while we never found deodorant (they dont sell it in china this time of year) we did find a bunch of other stuff including a suitcase for Holly that only cost about 6 dollars U.S.

There was a Starbucks on the way, but, I opted to skip it for now. Right next door to Starbucks is a Haagen Daz store, like Cold Stone. Might want to go there today. We went to the 7-11 and picked up some other supplies, and decided to just eat in the hotel diner again. It was quiet, so, that was good.

Holly still won't sit on my lap, but, we're making some progress. I'm upping the ante this week, and she's not liking it, but, hey, I'm the grown up.

She's so full of vinegar, always making faces, and smiling, and bopping around. She adores Matthew, and they play and goof around alot.

Well, it's time to get them out the door for breakfast, and then we are having a group picture taken, and off to a huge shopping mall.

We have been in Guangzhou for two days

2010-02-05T23:30:00.001-08:00

Day two in Guangzhou and we are so happy to be here. Wuhan was ok, but, GZ especailly Shamain island are bringing back so many memories of my trip to bring home Myleigh. Sometimes overwhelmingly so.

We left Wuhan Friday afternoon, after returning again to the civil affairs office to pick up Holly's passport. The registrar that Holly bludgeoned with her bunny was there, and was very happy to see smiles and strong attachment to her Baba. It was all very quiet in the building, only our family and the registrar. She made a little speech about how happy she was that we were adopting Holly, and thanked us for taking care of her. She wanted us to know we are welcome to come back any time to visit. We gave her a bag of shoes and a jacket that are too small for Holly to give to the orphanage director as he is bringing another child to be adopted sometime in the coming days.

Then it was time to go, and we all milled out of the office into the lobby area together. The notary decided that this was a good time to tease Holly, took her arm and tried to take her from Tim. Holly wheeled around and started to swing at her. I could only imagine what she was thinking, "Look lady, I took you out once, and I can do it again"

At that, she wished us well, and we were out the door, Holly skipping along with a big smile on her face, looking adoringly up at her Baba.

We went directly from the registry office to the airport, and along the way we saw water buffalo wandering around along the Han river. Eric told us how beautiful Wuhan is in the springtime, with so many wild yellow flowers everywhere. We checked in, decided to check even our carryons through, Then Eric showed us where the airport KFC was located, and we said our goodbyes. KFC was great, they had spicy pop corn chicken that was spicy, too. All of us ate for less than about twelve dollars, U.S.

Getting through security in Wuhan airport was pretty easy and quick, and the airport is clean and modern. Western toilets too.

Holly was so excited to see airplanes, FAYJEE is the word for them in Chinese, and she obviously knew all about what was going to happen. We boarded right on time, and I video taped her first airplane take off experience. She sat between Tim and Matthew, leaning over Matt's arm looking out the window as we took off. The plane trip was smooth and she very much enjoyed it. An hour and a half later we were in Guangzhou. The new airport is very nice. Rebecca and her assistant Vickie were waiting for us. Wow, Rebecca is a serious live wire, and Vickie is so cute and sweet. Their English is quite good.

I was nervous about what we might find around our hotel, thinking deeper in GZ meant dirty and difficult to navigate but was thrilled with what we found. The hotel is gorgeous and huge. The area around it is clean, and plenty of shopping and restaurants. There are walkways under and over the street, so, no worries getting across. We plan to get out and explore after a 4 oclock paperwork session with Rebecca today.

We got checked in with no trouble, and taken up to our room by a very sweet bellboy, and Vickie close at our sides. You have to use your room key in order to get the elevator to go up, as a security measure. Once on our floor it was fun to see that the doors are almost like secret panels. Matthew thinks that's pretty cool. The room is a two room suite, with a high tech bathroom. Matthew has a rollaway bed in the living room, and we have two beds plus Holly's bed in the bedroom.

We ordered room service, watched a movie, and off to bed we went. Sigh.

pictures from our trip to the museum and some playing around the pool

2010-02-03T22:21:00.000-08:00

2010-02-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

more pictures

2010-02-01T21:13:00.001-08:00

another picture

2010-02-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

pictures

2010-02-01T17:37:00.000-08:00

From 10 to 11, the train is complete and the caboose is attaching nicely.

2010-02-01T00:02:00.001-08:00

We had a rough go of it at first. Holly was told what was going on at the SWI and told them she was excited. She came with all of her stuff neatly packed in a couple of bags and the backpack we sent her. She looked nervous and confused, and obviously we didn't look exactly like our pictures, so, she immediately rejected us. She kept saying no and pulling back from us, and I was not about to push it. I had Tim come over and when the orphanage director told her this was her baba, she reached out and hugged him. It was so sweet, and we have it on camera. She was having nothing to do with me except to show me things, like the pictures she drew and her very special panda. She also was clutching the build a bear bunny we had sent, fully dressed in the jammies and slippers we had sent it in. I pulled out a light up necklace that we brought in a new pink backpack, and she pulled out the necklace that was already tucked into her shirt. It
was the same one that she had on in all the pictures we have of her, and the Nanny said it was a gift from her Foster Grandmother. How sweet, she treasures it and apparently never is with out it. Every time the director or the Nanny showed her pictures of us, she looked curiously at us, and it was so clear that we weren't real to her. She was more taken with Tim and Matthew though, so I went with that and encouraged more interaction. At one point she actually looked at Tim and said Daddy. He didn't catch it, so I told him she just said Daddy, and she heard me and smiled. She enjoyed it when Matthew showed her herself on the video camera.

The director and the Nanny were telling her how she was going home with us, and that we were mamma and daddy. She said she didn't want to. The guide, Eric, told her we would take her shopping and buy her snacks, any snacks she wants. She bold face told him in Chinese, pointing to her backpack, I have cookies. A very smart little lady.

Then it was time to say good bye to the director and the head nanny, and at that Holly melted down. She cried hard when they tried to tell her what was going to happen next, and refused the whole idea. At that she went around and picked up all the things she had showed us, including the photo album we had sent her of our family, and tucked them all furiously into her backpack, and a little pink bag that they had put the extra items in, including her panda bear. She marched away, and when the registrar came out and told her she had to stay, she flipped out, swung her bunny at her, and yelled no in Chinese over and over. The director and Nanny had snuck out by then, and when she saw that they were gone she just wept. She kept calling out what sounded like mama nanny.

We gathered her stuff and left, Eric holding her hand. When we got outside, Eric thought we could just walk to the market and she would calm down. Nope, she wanted to take off, and was pulling away. I could see a disaster coming, so, I said we needed to just take her back to the hotel room and give her some down time with us. I told Tim he should just pick her up, when he did, she stiffened buy she actually let him. She was still crying and Matthew and I climbed in the seat behind Tim and Holly so they could just sit to gether.

For most of the drive she was crying and saying the same thing over and over. We asked Eric what it was and he said she was saying she wanted to go to sleep. I had Tim say OK, and after a time or two, with him stroking her face and talking softly to her, she calmed down and sat watching the world go by as we navigated through the Wuhan traffic. When we got to the hotel, Tim carried her up to the room, and she just quietly observed. We got to the room, and Tim felt she might sleep if he stayed there with her while matthew and I went with Eric to a market to get some supplies. She allowed me to unbutton her coat, and I took Tim's coat off for him so she could see that he was ok with me. Well, when we got back they weren't sleeping. Holly had apparently gotten comfortable enough to get into pretty much everything in the suitcases, especially the snacks. She had proceeded to fill her pockets. When I peeked at her, and said what did
you find, she chattered at me in Chinese, with a big smile and showed me all her treasures.

We unloaded things, and Matthew was trying to get her to see the treats he helped pick out, and all she would do is shove them in her pockets. It was clear to me that she wasn't unpacking, that's for sure. She kept all her stuff together. I decided to try to put one of the new doll outfits on her bunny. she looked unapprovingly at it and promptly took it off and tossed it away. She was opening up more and more, but, still standoffish where I was concerned. She couldnt figure out how to drink from the sippy cup straw, so I showed her and she was pretty happy about that. She even shared her fruit bar with me.

I decided to just be bold and took off the sweater she had on to help her cool down some, and revealed that she had a pair of pajamas on underneath. Then it was time to go potty and she let me take her and she handled a western toilet like a pro.

We ordered noodles for her from room service and we had hamburgers and fries. She sat on Tim's lap and ate, and shared his fries and he fed her noodles. So cute, I took pictures and she gave big smiles.

Now she's happily playing and enjoying Matthew's attempts at speaking to her in Chinese. Some of it she gets, but, her dialect is very different.

So, now we'll see what the night brings.
Teri (50) in Utah, dh Tim (51)
Seven homegrown kids John 32, Jessica 28, James 23, Katie 20, Minuet 18,and Matthew 14, Myleigh YiXin 7 years old,and our sweet Nick who passed away far too soon at the tender age of 20 years old.
In China bringing home Huang FuJun/soon to be Holly Jun Nicole, 5 years old.

Travel continued, almost time to go meet Holly

2010-01-31T16:41:00.001-08:00

i was so tired last night, that I just couldnt keep typing. I'll add more now, and then again later after we meet Holly.

Still a little jet laggy, but, we all took some sleep meds last night, and pretty much slept like a rock, which is a good thing, because that's the closest description to the beds here in China. It's better than Changsha was back in 2003 when I went there to bring Myleigh home, because the White Rose puts down mattress pads on the beds. They aren't terribly thick, but, it's better than without them.

The weather isn't as rainy today, mostly just a lot of fog, and I mean, can't see much of the city and the sun just barely able to glint through kind of fog. There's a breeze, so, maybe it will clean some of it out. It's not a nice clean fog either. We met another couple at breakfast this morning who are here adopting a little one. They're from Arizona. Tim was talking with the dad at the buffet, and he said they had gone for a walk yesterday, and were only out a couple of hours, and had to wash their clothes when they got back from the dirty air. yuck. Don't think we'll be doing much wandering around.

The food is good. Tim tried a fruit on the buffet called "poochee" emphasis on the "chee'. Im guessing on the spelling. He really liked it. Tasted like a cross between a soft apple and coconut.

Yes girls, Dad is enjoyng the buffet experience just like he did in Cancun. Only four trips this morning, but, he wasn't very hungry today.

We meet Eric in the lobby in an hour, and will also be meeting the other couple that are adopting today. There are at least four adopting families in he hotel, possibly more. The couple we met this morning from Arizona has a little boy looked about a year old. There was also an older woman with her much older mom, with a little girl about Myleigh's age. She didn't appear to be too keen on the much older woman who I am thinking is her new grandmother.

Matthew is homesick, but, I think he'll have less time to think about that when he is busy playing with his new sister. He just announced what time it was, so, I think he's anxious to get going. I think we're as prepared as we can be. I have a backpack all packed for Holly. It's a toddler size disney princess backpack, and I put a box of raisins, some toddler treats, a water bottle with fresh drinking water, a coloring book and crayons, a necklace that lights up, some bubbles, and a new stuffed animal, patch from 101 dalmations.

I just want to be prepared but, don't want to overwhelm her with a bunch of stuff right away.

I can read posts that are sent through both my blog and directly to my yahoo address teresaa40@yahoo.com but can only reply to the yahoo emails as blogger is blocked in China. I will save all the posts for blogger til I get back, and then post them. so, if you don't see your post on my blog, it's because of that. I'll be putting some pictures on my blog later today.

24 HOURS OF FUN

2010-01-31T02:28:00.001-08:00

We left home at about 3:30 in the afternoon on Friday Jan 29th. On the way, we nearly were in a terrible accident on the freeway. Not sure what started it, but, a chain reaction of cars slamming on their brakes, followed by Tim slamming on the brakes on the Subaru, which only served to cause us to lock up our brakes and squeal rubber with really not much for braking, then, when we just about slammed into the car in front of us, Tim swerved into the lane next to us, which was empty, except for a car hauler semi that decided right at that moment that he wanted that lane too, and he had to swerve to miss us. In the end, there was a lot of rubber left behind, but, we survived, and were able to continue to the airport.

We were still pretty shook up for a while after that, and just got through security and the check in process fairly distracted. Once we were settled waiting for our first flight, we had a chance to think about what happened, and what came of it was that there was this lady in a big ole sedan, when we passed the cars that had slammed on their brakes, and she was swerving around in her lane, because she was far too busy screaming and motioning at a pickup truck in the lane two lanes over from her. We think she was screaming over somthing either he actually did, or she decided he did, and she didn't much care what affect she was having on everyone else's lives.

anyway, we made that flight ok, and went onto LAX for what should have been a smooth connection. Everything about the terminal for international departures has changed since I passed through it 6 years ago, and it was more of a cattle call than a terminal check point. Once we finally got through that, we were walking out to board the plane, and were met with a bus instead. We all, the entire plane load of people, piled into this long bus, and were shuttled to the whole other side of the airport, by a manic driver not seeming to be aware that there were people hanging onto straps and balancing carryon's and children as he went careening around the airport.

We get to the terminal and have to walk up ramp after ramp, and finally, we board the China Southern flight. Fourteen hours later, and a bit worse for wear, we decided that if we could upgrade from economy we definitely will.

We then connected much easier, go figure that China has it all together when LAX cannot seem to manage it, and flew easily to Wuhan, and again, smoothly through the exit process. Our guide, Eric, yes he's Chinese, who studied English at the local University, swept us out to a van, and off we went through the city of Wuhan, crossing the Yangze river on the way. Our hotel , the White Rose, is very nice, but, the room is smaller than we were anticipating, We may or may not change rooms tomorrow.

It's raining here in Wuhan, and you can't see much for the low clouds and humidity fog. We're all off to sleep now, tomorrow will be a big day.
Teri (50) in Utah, dh Tim (51)
Seven homegrown kids John 32, Jessica 28, James 23, Katie 20, Minuet 18,and Matthew 14, Myleigh YiXin 7 years old,and our sweet Nick who passed away far too soon at the tender age of 20 years old.
In China bringing home Huang FuJun/soon to be Holly Jun Nicole, 5 years old.

We are in China!!!

2010-01-30T22:29:00.001-08:00

Will post more later, but, wanted to let everyone know that we arrived ok, and are safely and snugly inhabiting the White Rose hotel in Wuhan.

We are set to go to the civil affairs office tomorrow morning to meet Holly.

Yes, I;m getting nervous.
Teri (50) in Utah, dh Tim (51)
Seven homegrown kids John 32, Jessica 28, James 23, Katie 20, Minuet 18,and Matthew 14, Myleigh YiXin 7 years old,and our sweet Nick who passed away far too soon at the tender age of 20 years old.
In China bringing home Huang FuJun/soon to be Holly Jun Nicole, 5 years old.

We leave in two and a half hours!!

2010-01-29T11:58:00.000-08:00

Our bags are all packed, weights are all double checked to be under the luggage weight limit, everything we'll need during the trip is strategically packed for easy access. Our passports and out and ready. Flights were re-confirmed.

We will be heading out at about 3:30pm, right after Myleigh gets home from school so we can say goodbye to her. I wish James was here last night or even this morning to say goodbye.

Our flight leaves Salt Lake City at 7:47 pm, and then it's onto Los Angeles for an 11:50 flight on China Southern airlines to Guangzhou, China. We'll arrive there at 5:50 am China time on Sunday, but it will be more like early afternoon Saturday for us. Yawn.

Holly here we come!!!

weather

2010-01-27T16:33:00.000-08:00

Well, the weather will be fabulous for our travel days, right up until we get to Wuhan. It's going to be rainy and in the upper 40's lower 50's all week long. sigh

Ah well, there's a great indoor pool, and fitness center we can use. Maybe we'll get wet, maybe not. Maybe we'll bring some umbrellas.

Once we get to Guangzhou, it's going to be in the 70's and a little rainy here and there, but, the rest of the week is looking very nice. That's good, cause we'll be there for a week.

Good luck Karen!!!

2010-01-27T09:23:00.000-08:00

A very dear friend of mine is having surgery today and I want to say out loud to the cyber world that I am sending good vibes and much peaceful karma out to Karen in Idaho.

You'll be in my thoughts and my prayers today.

Details, details

2010-01-27T09:16:00.000-08:00

Today is all about confirmations and tieing up loose ends. We have confirmed with our credit card companies that we will be using the cards in China for two weeks, so they don't block our accounts for unusual usage.

I contacted China Southern airlines and confirmed our flights, and asked that we have all seats together. She said that seat assignments are made at 7:30 the night of our flight, but, we don't get into LAX until 9pm, so, she put a note on our reservations to have all seats together. I hope that at least Matthew and I sit together. I'll go into mother bear mode if they try to seperate us.

I'm having my hair trimmed so it is healthy for such a long trip in poor air conditions, both on our flights and in China. Plus, Tim and I need two more passport photos for our in-province paperwork. We'll get those done while we're out looking for a substitute wedding ring for me to wear in China. The diamond in my wedding set is in need of retipping on the setting, so, to avoid possibly losing it on the trip, I will be dropping it off at the jeweler and wearing the fake for the trip.

Im nearly packed, just have to finish up tomorrow. I still have some things to get for Mindy for her ballroom competition, since I won't be here to pick them up. She and Katie both compete this weekend and next, and while I am disappointed that I will be missing those comps, I would gladly miss anything to bring Holly home.

The weather looks good for our trip over to China. I just hope we don't have any last minute storms to deal with. There's one going through today that is supposed to be long gone by then.

Tonight I speak at a friends Relief Society meeting about how we (there's going to be a panel of women) define ourselves as women in our various lives.

Paperwork snafus continue

2010-01-26T06:44:00.001-08:00

Even now, at this last minute, there are paperwork snafu's to deal with.

Yesterday, when going thoroughly through our travel paperwork packet sent by the agency, I noticed there were two very important sections not included. A full copy of our dossier, and 5 copies of our passport visa pages. Need those for the very first appointment in China.

So, I contacted the agency and the rep confirmed, " I screwed up." Hmmm.

Anywho, I took care of it all myself, as per usual.

Back on track, and all systems go.

test

2010-01-25T07:05:00.001-08:00

just testing my ability to post from yahoo.

Teri (50) in Utah, dh Tim (51)
Seven homegrown kids John 32, Jessica 28, James 23, Katie 20, Minuet 18,and Matthew 14, Myleigh YiXin 7 years old,and our sweet Nick who passed away far too soon at the tender age of 20 years old.
Packing to bring home Huang FuJun/soon to be Holly Jun Nicole, 5 years old.

Last day at work before FMLA

2010-01-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

Today is my last day at work until after I come off FMLA. Eight glorious weeks just being with my new little girl and helping her adjust to a new language, a new home, a new life. We know she has been learning some words in English from the TV in the orphanage, and Huangshi is pretty good at preparing the little ones for the transition, but, she is still only five years old, and will likely have a tough time not being able to freely communicate with us, or anyone else for that matter.

We'll have the picture book I made for her, so she can continue to point to pictures and learn the words for those pictures over time, but, at least she can tell us when she is hungry, or sleepy, or needs to use the bathroom, or feels sad, or angry.

Tomorrow morning I will lay all the partially packed suitcases on the bed, and on the bedroom floor, and organize them, get them completely packed, except for last minute items, and check their final weight. Anything that causes us to go over the 45 lb limit for in-China will be jetisoned.

I'm starting to feel more and more nervous as the trip looms closer. With a baby, the transition would be so much easier, because they really don't have a solid concept yet of what it all means. Myleigh adapted pretty quickly and after a day of being somewhat shut down, she just opened up and relaxed. With Holly being 5 years old, she will clearly understand that we are strangers and she is being taken away from everything and everyone she has ever known. I wonder how much preparation you can even expect to sink in when they are that age. How much reality does she grasp, and has she built up a fantasy in her mind of how things are going to be, and what we will be like?

I've seen some children her age that were adopted by American's adjust fairly smoothly, just a few tears, but, they really knew what was happening and while they were timid and nervous, they expected to be going far away with these new people. Then I've seen children that rejected one parent or the other, and sometimes both. They reacted violently to the reality that their nannies were leaving and they were not going with them. Holly's reaction could run the gammot and I just hope we're able to help her feel safe and secure, and to know that we aren't scary. I hope Matthew being there will help her know that. Often, having someone else, who is still a child, even if they are American, and a teenager, has a calming effect on them. They get that this is a child, not too unlike them, and they are used to being around older children in the orphanage. They look to them to get a guage for whether this is a good thing or not, and they kind of see them as a safe spot in this new family, where they can be a kid, and play, and just relax.

This time next week, we will have the answers to all of these questions, because we will have her with us, and however it's going to unfold will have already happened.

Details details

2010-01-22T12:08:00.000-08:00

I have to remember to have our credit cards cleared for China, get some new cash, have our doctor prescribe a powdered antibiotic for Holly, and one for us, get some modeling clay, set the travel alarm clock for China time, set a watch for US time to have for quick reference, get some M&Ms, cup a soup, cup a noodles, and the other supplies still left on the list.

I need to give our camera , Holly's DS, Matt's DS,and our camcorder a fresh charge. Pack a nice outfit for Holly to wear on adoption day, if she will even allow us to change her clothes that soon.

I need one more BYU mug, and two more nicer gifts for the notary and adoption officials.

While Im at it, I need to get our doctor's email address so we can contact him if we have a problem. Contact our health insurance company to have Holly added to our policy.

Then I just have to finish packing, clean the house, put fresh bedding on our bed for whichever of our grown kids is going to be sleeping in our room, and test all the smoke alarms batteries.

Weather forecast for our trip

2010-01-21T15:10:00.000-08:00

Well, it's really getting to be real now. I just checked the weather forecast in Wuhan, and plugged in the 10 day forecast, and there it was, our first day in China, 43' and partly cloudy.

Right now it's averaging between 43 and 56 degrees for daytime highs, which is springlike for us Utahn's. It's averaging 68 to 74 in GZ, so, it's going to be like we left winter and walked right into springtime. Ahhh.

In just eight days we will be on a plane bound for Wuhan. So much to do, so little time.

Travel conference

2010-01-21T08:13:00.001-08:00

Had our travel conference with Josh yesterday. He went over what we can expect during our trip. We will be the only family from SWA in Wuhan, and will have the guide pretty much to ourselves, unless they are working with another agency's family at the same time. He hasn't confirmed our hotel reservation yet, but, expects it will be the White Rose in Wuhan. He is also waiting to hear back from the guide about our request to visit the SWI. Apparently the requests have been getting more and more difficult to have granted, and if we are not given permission from about three or four different bureaucrats we may not be able to visit. That would be sad for Holly, as we hope to be able to take her shopping for a gift to bring on her visit, and believe this will give her some closure that she might not otherwise have. We should hear about this too over the next week.

He also said that we might end up having Holly brought to us on Sunday the 31st, instead of Feb 1st. Apparently, once the SWI finds out the family is going to be in town on a certain day, they just decide to bring the child to their new family on that day. So, we will try to be ready just in case.

We'll have 14 other families between our agency and another agency that is using the same facilitators in GZ. Plus, a third agency has confirmed their families are staying at the Garden hotel with our two agency's families, and it sounds like others are possibly doing the same thing. It will be a very active place to be for that week.

I found out another family is bringing their 15 year old son with them, so, Matthew may have someone his own age to spend some of the time with.

It is shaping up to be a fun trip with so many families, and so many kids of all ages. One family is adopting a 12 year old girl and I imagine other older kids will be part of such a large group of families, so, by the time we get to GZ, Matthew may end up making a lot of new friends.

Im still trying to get clarification on how many checked bags are free on an international flight, and if that includes the domestic leg of the flight. I believe we will be permitted two bags per passenger, and really only want to know so we can bring one extra bag to help out with the overall weight distribution. We may not need it, but, if we do, it will be nice to have.

We're in the homestretch.

Itinerary

2010-01-20T08:07:00.000-08:00

Here it is:

We leave for Salt Lake airport at about 4pm Jan 29th for our China Southern airlines flight leaving for LAX at 7:47 pm

We have a few hours layover to get checked into our China Southern international flight and maybe grab a bite to eat before we leave at 11:50 pm for Guangzhou. We arrive in Guangzhou (GZ) at 6:50 am China time, Sunday Jan 31st, losing Saturday entirely. We have another couple of hours to make our domestic connection, also on China Southern, at 9:00 am for Wuhan. We arrive there at 10:30 am and check into our hotel.

Monday, Feb 1st we meet Holly and bring her back to our hotel

Tuesday, Feb 2nd we return to the civil affairs office and complete the adoption paperwork.

Wed and Thursday are free days.

Friday, Feb 5th we fly from Wuhan to GZ.

Saturday, Feb 6th will be full of details for Holly's US Visa, including having her picture taken and a medical exam which will involve her having to get all her immunizations all over again and having a TB test.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday are free days, except for a trip to have her TB test looked at and if there is any indication of exposure, she will have to have a chest x-ray to rule out TB.

Wednesday, Feb 10th is the day our facilitator goes to the US consulate to complete our request for a Visa for Holly.

Thursday, Feb 11th we bring Holly to the consulate and swear that this is the child we requested. She will be granted a Visa.

Friday, Feb 12th, Holly's Visa will be issued, and we leave GZ at 9pm for LAX on our last China Southern flight.

Friday, Feb 12th- yep, it's still Friday, we arrive at LAX at 5:50 pm, essentially 3 hours before we left China. That day we lost on the way to China we get back in the form of living Friday night all over again. For us, it will be mid to late morning Saturday, but, in the US, it will be evening Friday. We will check into a hotel for some freshening up, some US food, and naps.

Saturday, Feb 13th, we head back to the airport at about 4am, to catch our 6:15 Delta flight to Salt Lake. We will be home by 9:15am.

We have our consulate appointment and our flights are booked.

2010-01-19T06:04:00.000-08:00

We are scheduled for a consulate appointment on February 10th. We have our flights leaving Salt Lake on January 29th, and getting back home on February 13th.

I will post our intinerary later, when my wrists recover from all the typing to get our flights booked. But, just 10 days and we are on our way.

TA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

Josh emailed and then called to let us know our Travel Approval letter has arrived. He forwarded us a form to fill out, and he already has it back, so, as soon as the other three families get their's sent to him, he is sending them all to China. Im not freaking about the fact that three other families have to respond before ours can go to China, since I have already heard from two others, and it's only been an hour, plus, it's night time in China, so, we have all day before they even open for business.

Josh is trying for the earliest available consulate appointment (CA), so, I guess we'll find out by Wednesday what that date will be and then we can make our flight arrangements.

TA's being reported

2010-01-15T12:31:00.001-08:00

We haven't heard anything yet, and Tim is not home, so, if Josh calls, there will be no one home. A family that also had their article 5 picked up on Dec 30th was notified by their agency that the CCAA has signed their TA and it's on it's way, expected on Monday. All I can do is hope that ours is also on it's way, and Josh will at least find that out and leave a message on our answering machine.

3:59 pm
Three agencies so far have reported that their Dec 30th families are getting TA's on Monday.

4:50 PM, no news for us. There is no way for us to even know if TA's are coming or not. Josh never responded to any of the posts on the SWA site, and while I understand that if he has no information he has nothing to confirm, at least we would know not to keep refreshing the page to see if he does or not. Guess we'll be waiting til Monday, and maybe then we will know something. Then again, it's Martin Luther King day, which I still think needs to be renamed to Human Rights day, just as we created Presidents day to honor all our Presidents, we need to honor all humanitarians and remember to respect all humans rights, not just one group of people and one man. Anyway, that day is not going to stop DHL from delivering the TA's but our agency might well have the day off and not be there to notify us. A single day's difference could cost us a consulate spot before CNY.

It's Friday in China.

2010-01-14T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's 3am Friday morning in China. In six short hours the offices at the CCAA will be open for business. I am praying they will email or call my agency and say our TA is on it's way. I really don't expect to get a consulate appointment before CNY at this point. I'm already hearing that the available appointments are filling up, and no word that any new dates have been added. So, Im getting busy checking flights for after February 18th.

Josh at SWA contacted the CCAA about our TA, and they said it wasn't ready yet. sigh. That was on Monday. no news since then.

0434 pm same day

It's still not business hours in China. Our agency is closed here in the US, so, no news today. Maybe tomorrow.

07:25 am Friday morning

It is Friday night in China, 10:30 pm. The business week is over, once again, and if our TA is done, it could be on it's way to our agency right now. Once the agency office is open today, we might get notification that TA is on it's way. Oh, I hope we do.

test

2010-01-14T10:44:00.001-08:00

testing the access

It's now Monday morning in China

2010-01-10T16:43:00.001-08:00

It's 8:45 am in China, Monday morning. This could be a big week. Perhaps our TA will be mailed out, or maybe it is already on it's way. It's just as likely that it hasn't even been signed yet. I wish there was some way to know, but, we won't have any idea until it arrives in the mail to our agency and they contact us to let us know.

Im done with another long weekend at work, and plan to spend time cleaning, sorting, packing away the remaining Christmas decorations that are still standing in the front yard, and just trying to keep busy while the days tick by.

It's Sunday morning in China.

2010-01-09T17:06:00.001-08:00

Good morning little cricket. Its Sunday morning in China, 9am, and you are probably finished with your breakfast, and playing with your friends. I wonder if you are thinking of me. I wonder if you have looked at your pictures of your new family today.

This time tomorrow will be the beginning of another work week in China, and maybe, just maybe, we will get our TA. Oh, I hope so. If we do, we will be meeting you in China on January 31st, just three weeks from now. If we don't, we may have to wait until after Chinese New Year, which means possibly February 21st, about six weeks from now. Either way, two months from now you will be living in your new home, with your new family, and everything about your life will have changed. Everything except one thing. We already love you.

2010-01-07T13:49:00.000-08:00

Travel preps contd.....

2010-01-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

I checked today and found out all the big changes the government was going to implement for security in airports will not go into affect after all. What this means for us is that we can still bring a carryon and a personal bag per person, and we won't have to have everyone sit with nothing to do and no bathroom trips for the last hour of our long trip from China, or for the hour or so trip from LAX to SLC. That is such a relief. Grown ups have a hard enough time doing nothing for an hour, let alone five year olds.

I have preliminarily packed all of our large suitcases, at least with the stuff we are taking other than our clothes and personal items, and so far nothing is over 15 pounds. With a limit of 45 pounds (really its about 50 but who wants to push it) we should be well under and not have to worry about an overweight charge on our bags.

Still no word about our TA. Not really expecting it til next week at the earliest.

Hubei province

2010-01-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

I found out today that Hubei province is known for mining Turquoise, so, I expect we will be bringing some home. I have always loved Turquoise, and, depending on the source you check, it is supposed to be my birthstone.

Great deal on Air China

2010-01-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

I found a great deal on an Air China flight from LAX to Wuhan and then from Guangzhou to LAX. $581 each for a total of $1800 for the three of us roundtrip. Add the $552 roundtrip from Salt lake to LAX, and you have #2352

Oh I hope we can still get this kind of deal when the time comes to book the flights.

A new year and a new week.

2010-01-03T10:59:00.000-08:00

It's 2010! The year Holly comes home. As this is Sunday daytime in the US, it is the middle of the night in China, so, by the time the sun goes down on us, it will be Monday morning there and another business day. That means that it will be another day when they could be working on our TA. Perhaps they have already worked on it and will send it out this week. Who knows. It's just as likely that they won't send it out for two more weeks. Either way, we will get TA this month as long as all goes well, but, when it gets here will determine if we bring Holly home this month or next month.

Tonight I will begin the onerous process of packing away all the Christmas decorations, and starting the big clean up in preparation for being gone for two weeks and then jet lagged for at least another week. Oh, I remember those days after bringing Myleigh home. It's like having the flu. You're groggy all the time, achey and sore. Just want to sleep, but, we'll have so much to do when we get back, not the least of which will be to help Holly adjust to her new home.

I can't decide which would be better, to drive ourselves to the airport, and then drive home on our own when we get back, or have Katie and James bring us up and then back. I'm thinking, based on the fact that it will be winter time and weather could be dicey, it may be best if we drive ourselves in the outback. I know the kids want to do a homecoming of sorts at the airport, but, I just don't want to risk there being a storm on the day we get home. I guess they'll have to figure something out to do at the house. It's going to be tough to drive home being jet lagged, but, if we do a layover in California at a hotel, we can nap through the night, get cleaned up, and then head out a bit fresher in the morning the next day.

It's starting to feel real. We could be in China in just a few weeks. After all this waiting and pushing paper we are at the end of the tunnel. From the first time we heard Holly's story back in May to now it has been such a rough road. Funny, it will be nine months at the end of this month since we first saw her face. Just like a pregnancy. How odd is that?