Last day at work before FMLA

Today is my last day at work until after I come off FMLA. Eight glorious weeks just being with my new little girl and helping her adjust to a new language, a new home, a new life. We know she has been learning some words in English from the TV in the orphanage, and Huangshi is pretty good at preparing the little ones for the transition, but, she is still only five years old, and will likely have a tough time not being able to freely communicate with us, or anyone else for that matter.

We'll have the picture book I made for her, so she can continue to point to pictures and learn the words for those pictures over time, but, at least she can tell us when she is hungry, or sleepy, or needs to use the bathroom, or feels sad, or angry.

Tomorrow morning I will lay all the partially packed suitcases on the bed, and on the bedroom floor, and organize them, get them completely packed, except for last minute items, and check their final weight. Anything that causes us to go over the 45 lb limit for in-China will be jetisoned.

I'm starting to feel more and more nervous as the trip looms closer. With a baby, the transition would be so much easier, because they really don't have a solid concept yet of what it all means. Myleigh adapted pretty quickly and after a day of being somewhat shut down, she just opened up and relaxed. With Holly being 5 years old, she will clearly understand that we are strangers and she is being taken away from everything and everyone she has ever known. I wonder how much preparation you can even expect to sink in when they are that age. How much reality does she grasp, and has she built up a fantasy in her mind of how things are going to be, and what we will be like?

I've seen some children her age that were adopted by American's adjust fairly smoothly, just a few tears, but, they really knew what was happening and while they were timid and nervous, they expected to be going far away with these new people. Then I've seen children that rejected one parent or the other, and sometimes both. They reacted violently to the reality that their nannies were leaving and they were not going with them. Holly's reaction could run the gammot and I just hope we're able to help her feel safe and secure, and to know that we aren't scary. I hope Matthew being there will help her know that. Often, having someone else, who is still a child, even if they are American, and a teenager, has a calming effect on them. They get that this is a child, not too unlike them, and they are used to being around older children in the orphanage. They look to them to get a guage for whether this is a good thing or not, and they kind of see them as a safe spot in this new family, where they can be a kid, and play, and just relax.

This time next week, we will have the answers to all of these questions, because we will have her with us, and however it's going to unfold will have already happened.