Me and my shadow

Since the kids have been back in school for a few days this week, and Tim has either been at work or at training, it's been just Holly and me most of the morning, and sometimes in the afternoon. She spends every second being with me, following me wherever I go, and helping me to do whatever I'm doing. This kid really likes to help. Right now she's organizing the grocery bags that are sitting at the top of the stairs waiting for me to take them to the cold storage room to sort the groceries onto the shelves. I just put them in a pile, but, she has now sorted and lined them up neatly.

Myleigh likes to teach her little sister new things, and yesterday she taught Holly to count to 20 in English. Mostly she just repeats what Myleigh says, but, after a while I expect it will be something she really has learned to do. Her bigger sisters have taught her to say thank you and your welcome. She has learned to say shoes, bye bye, no (which is now her new favorite word), banana, and calls everyone by name. She still uses a lot of Chinese, and gets a bit frustrated sometimes when she's really trying to tell us something and we aren't getting it, but, for the most part she understands that we don't speak Chinese and does what she can to help us. Such a patient child.

The morning meltdowns have ended. On Friday she went with Tim to take Myleigh to school, and I guess she didn't understand that Myleigh was going to leave the car without them and they were going to come back home. She cried and cried for about an hour. I took her with me that afternoon to bring Myleigh home, and it must have clicked in her head what was going on, because on Monday we took Myleigh to school and she was fine, even seemed content to leave her there. When Myleigh came home in the afternoon she was thrilled, but, not surprised.

Each day she lets me deeper into her world and into her heart. She has been happily spending days with just me, and likes to go places with me in the car. Then, yesterday, there was another sudden breakthrough. We were at the Timpview high school ballroom for Mindy's lesson. We had to sit around and wait while Mindy and David danced for an hour, and that meant the girls were going to get bored, which they did. It wasn't long before they were both sitting on my lap, which Holly has never done before, and after a few minutes, Holly actually snuggled. I'm in!

Mindy is still dealing with the fallout from pretending to cry when Holly got a bit too rough in her playing and hit her. That was over a week ago, but, Holly has not forgiven her entirely, and still pushes her away when she tries to play or love on her. It's getting better, but, I can tell it hurts her, especially since she was the favorite for the first week, and now, she can't even pick her up without a protest. In time it will be fine, but, Holly has to deal with the way Mindy is, and how she teases and pretends, which obviously we can't explain to her. Mindy was all fun and frolic until she did something Holly couldn't interpret, and that was that. It's such a fine line we all walk, realizing that some things just can't happen until we can say to her in words she will understand that this is ok or that is ok and not to worry about it.

The dogs are still an issue for her. We try to keep them outside or in their crates to some degree, but, give her some interaction with them increasingly so she will slowly get comfortable with them. More and more we just leave them in and just let her know that they are inside so she isn't surprised. A couple of times she has encountered them and been ok, not thrilled, but, the less they pay attention to her the easier it gets. And then there was last night. She had been in the office with Myleigh playing with their kitchen set, and Myleigh decided to come into the kitchen, where the dogs were, and show us something. After a bit I asked where Holly was, and we went looking for her. I found her upstairs on her bed, and when she saw me she cried. I brought her downstairs, and she immediatley started looking for the dogs, and that told me pretty much what I think happened. She tried to follow Myleigh, saw that the dogs were inside, and didn't know how to tell us that she wanted to come into the kitchen, too. She went to her bedroom where she knew the dogs could not go. They are only allowed in the kitchen and dining room, but, she worries that they will be able to come down the hallway to the office, so she doesn't trust that she is safe there. The dogs have never done anything to be concerned about, except that Duncan, the Westie, is very interested and wants desperately to sniff her to figure her out, and she wants none of that, which makes him that much more determined, and Daisy the Pomeranian is such a clown, she bounces and dances around constantly, which freaks Holly out, because she is so unpredictable.

I'm planning to do more proactive interaction with her this week with the dogs. Already I have had her give them treats from the safety of the loveseat in the dining room, and have had her stand beside me on the floor as they walked around, and she was ok with that, so, I expect slow but steady progress with a few set backs along the way. By the end of the month we should be able to have her not so afraid, maybe just cautious.